All over me
by CollinsJ
Summary: AU : The space between what's wrong and right, you will find me waiting for you. Inspired by the song 'All over me' by Lindsey Harper. STORY COMPLETE!
1. Chapter 1

**AN: I haven't abandoned ''Someone like you'', hell no. This was just pushing to be written, what could I do? It's going to be about 5 really long chapters and that's it.**

* * *

**Disclaimer: I don't own Rizzoli and Isles, or Rosario Dawson in any way. **

* * *

Rizzoli's signature loud steps made herself known before she even arrived at her destination. She'd been out in the field all day on her feet, and she was half sure if she stayed any longer at the precinct she'd have to crawl to her car. What made it worse was that she couldn't even go to her own apartment and relax in peace. Her phone had literally been run over by a dump truck as soon as she walked onto the crime scene, meaning her mother had been trying to call her for hours to no avail. It never really registered to the Rizzoli mother that her children were actually adults, she still badgered them like ten year olds. Frost had warned Jane that Angela was patiently waiting at her apartment for her, so Jane had ruled her home off as a place to spend the night.

''Can I crush at your place tonight, I swear my mother will be the death of me'', Jane laid her burden to one of her good friends.

''Sure you can, but I won't be around this weekend'', said friends responded, finally turning to see a grumpy and weary looking Jane. ''Tough day huh'', she sympathized.

''You don't even know''. The detective sunk into the office couch in her friends office and watched as the woman packed. ''Are you off to Maryland again?'', she said a little sadly.

''Yeah. Kind of a last minute decision. Maura isn't feeling well so you know….''

''Sure. Do your thing girl, and tell her I said hi. I'll just spend tonight I swear, I'm not in the mood to see my mother right now. I'm really too tired for that''

''Stay as long as you need Jane. I'll be flying back on Monday morning anyway''

''Thanks Roe'', they hugged goodbye and Jane dragged her tired body to some rest .

Rosario Dawson was the Medical Examiner for the BPD. She'd worked there for three years in which a friendship had developed between Jane and herself. They shared some interests, mainly sports and beer. But Rosario favoured other things likes art, and films, literature and shopping – things which Jane didn't understand and didn't care to try. So normally if they were both free, they'd go to drink at the Robber with the other guys or watch a game at home.

Jane liked that Roe was simple to get along with. She called her Roe because she said her name was too long and she was often lazy to go through all the letters that spelt Rosario. And then she said Rosie was too girly for her liking. In Jane's exact words, ''I don't wanna have a friend called Rosie. Imagine me being like, 'oh hey Frost, I'm gonna head down to the morgue to see Rosie'''. And then she'd made a gagging gesture. Rosario was fairly wealthy, but she drove a decent car and lived in a two bedroomed condo. She was the type of person who adapted to her surroundings. When she was with Jane, she dressed her casual way and goofed off happily. And when she was with her other sophisticated friends she dressed impeccably and spoke eloquently. Jane had no interest in the other part of Rosario's life, and just enjoyed the friendship they had.

The two weren't the best of friends, granted. But they were good friends who worked and got on well in and out of work. Often times Rosario joined the Rizzoli's for their Sunday dinners or Jane would join the Puerto Rican woman and her brothers for their traditional meals. Rosario had two younger brothers just like Jane. The said two got along with Frankie and Tommy as well, despite the fact that they were both in medical professions like their sister.

...

''Finally'', Jane sighed as she fell onto the bed. She'd taken a shower and was finally just getting to sleep. She hated that her friend wasn't there though. Roe was funny and knew how to help her de-stress. Most weekends had been unpleasant like this for a year now. It started when Roe went for a conference in Maryland one time, and came back with a massive crush on one Dr Maura Isles. To Jane's displeasure, the crush swiftly turned into an interstate relationship. Not to say she was jealous or unhappy about her friends love life, she just hated that she couldn't spend many weekends with her that's all.

This Dr Isles had been to Boston on two separate occasions, both times missing Jane. Those visits had strangely coincided with Rizzoli family trips so…that was that. Maura's next visit was scheduled for Thanksgiving, exactly four weeks from now. To say Jane was thrilled would be a lie, and she _had _mentioned this to Rosario. Jane had put Maura in the category of Roe's other friends – the rich and pompous she'd tried to get along with and failed. Over the phone they had talked briefly on a number of occasions, and Jane had to admit that Dr Isles sounded polite, but she wasn't entirely sold. Rosario was her close friend, so she did her best to just separate Roe's love life from their friendship.

Jane's love life on the other hand….haha. It was laughable. There was Dean, and Casey…and the list ended right there. The detective couldn't detect what was wrong with her when it came to that aspect of her life. Not a single person had made her heart stop. The whole relationship business was like a chore to her, done out of pure obligation. Sex…God forbid. None of those two men made her core throb, made her want it, or enjoy it. Sex was just the mere act of penetration. Her heart didn't beat. They didn't touch her body right, kiss her properly, caress her in the most tender of ways. It was hopeless. And though Rosario had persuaded her to take on a female lover, she was adamant in her stance as a purely heterosexual woman.

...

And just like most weekends, the two days passed by without a trace. Jane just watch T.V and met up with her family for Sunday dinner before work on Monday.

Meanwhile in Maryland, Rosario was playing nurse. Maura had caught some type of bug that left her vomiting, dehydrated, and weak. Other than Maura's illness, the two love birds enjoyed their time together.

* * *

''You look all relaxed this morning'', Rosario said to her friend when the brunette walked in looking chipper as ever.

''Yeah, I caught up on sleep this weekend. Your place is so peaceful without any of my family members budging in at various times throughout the day''

They shared a knowing smile. Work hadn't yet started technically, so Rosario was busy getting herself situated while Jane lounged around and chattered on.

''I bet _you _didn't get any sleep'', she smirked at her doctor friend.

''Matter of fact no. Because Maura was sick''

''Right'', Jane snorted.

''Well fine, that wasn't the only reason. I can't help myself okay'', she laughed.

''Of course. She still coming over for Thanksgiving?''

''Yap'', Roe answered happily.

''Doesn't she wanna be with her family though?''. It only made sense right?

''She doesn't have family in America. And her parents live in France and don't celebrate the holiday''

''So what did she do all those years before she met you?'', Jane wondered.

''She said it was just like any other day to her really. She just spent the day home and relaxed. Maura doesn't like to talk much about it. I get the feeling it makes her sad so I don't ask her too much''

Jane just scratched her head, completely unsure what to make of it.

''I'm still jealous though. You got four whole days off _after_ thanksgiving, and I only got ONE day. It totally sucks'', Roe complained. She'd begged and pleaded with her boss to get the time off but the days were already taken by those who asked first.

''Next time book that time off a year in advance'', the brunette advised.

''Last year I wasn't dating anyone, so I didn't really see the need to be off for all those days. And to think Maura will be here for the whole week'', she sighs.

''You'll be alright. You'll work shorter days and while you're stuck here I'll keep her company. If your brothers…and mine, don't hog her'', she laughed.

''I'd rather she spend her time with you. The only man I can trust with her is Frankie, only cause he's respectful. Tommy, and _both _my brothers are perves''

''True'', they laughed. Those three boys were wickedly handsome and womanizers. Rosario knew they wouldn't even care that Maura was dating their sister. So it left her entrusting her girlfriend to the company of Jane or Frankie only. ''I'm gonna hate Thanksgiving though. My Ma is gonna be on about me being single. Everyone will have a date there'', Jane said dejectedly.

''You have about three weeks to find someone Jane, don't lose hope'', Roe said with faux sincerity.

''Fuck you''

''Come on, you'll find someone I promise. If only you'd just open you mind up a little bit'', Rosario encouraged her.

''I'm not gay Roe'', Jane defended for the….she'd lost count.

''I wasn't talking about dating a _woman _specifically. Maybe just try not to give the guys a hard time''

''Sure, like dating a male nurse. Or the guys that want me to use my handcuffs? No. I'm not _that _liberal''

''Even just so you wouldn't endure Angela's wrath?'', the doctor raised her eyebrows questioningly.

Jane seemed to think about this for a little bit. But came to the conclusion that it wouldn't do her any good. Her mother would put this poor man through a myriad of questions and ultimately embarrass her with talk about marriage and grandbabies. Nope. Flying solo for the holiday dinner was much better. With a little luck, one of the boys would show up with no date and it wouldn't turn out so bad for her. Even her mother was going to be with Korsak. That part sucked the worst.

Since her fathers death five years ago, Angela had gone through more dates than she had. It was embarrassing to have to compete with her fifty-five year old mother. At thirty-three, Jane thought it shouldn't have to be so hard to get a decent mate. She was wrong. They were there, plenty even, but none were anything _close _to what she desired. Her father had always told her that when she met right person, she'd know it. That she would feel it with every fibre of her being. So far….no such luck.

* * *

''Ma, Thanksgiving isn't for another week. Would you stop pestering me'', Jane huffed. They seemed to be playing a game of tag in Jane's little apartment. The detective was stepping as further away from Angela as she could, but the woman kept coming closer to her.

''I need a definite head count Jane. Are you bringing a date or not?'', she continued, unfazed by her daughter.

''Fine!'', Jane stomped her foot. ''I'm NOT bringing a date. Its just me''. Final. Angela looked sadly at her daughter.

''You know I never understand all this Jane'', she waved her hands in the air. ''You are very beautiful and…. Why is it so hard to find a decent man? Or even a woman like Rosario? Doesn't Maura have any friends she could hook you up with''

''Okay, that's it. You need to leave'', Jane gently pushed her towards the door.

''Fine, fine. I'm sorry honey. I love you, you know that right?''

''I do'', Jane answered exasperatedly. ''But are we done her. I told you, I'm coming alone''

''I'll see you around then'', Angela kissed her daughter goodbye. The woman's only job was to take care of her grown children. That's why she continually fussed about grandchildren, she desperately needed something to do. Her finances from her late husbands pension were enough to cover her bills and extra things she needed, so there was no reason for her to find a job. But that left her idle, and the person who bore the most of her brunt was the eldest daughter, Jane.

...

Thanksgiving that year was being held at Ralph's house, Rosario's other brother. He was a thirty-four year old Gastrointestinal Physiologist, only two years younger than Rosario. He was the most ostentatious of the three siblings. He owned a lavish home in one of the suburban areas of Boston where they often held most parties and gatherings – attended by the Rizzoli's as well, as they had become somewhat of an extended family.

Jane didn't care too much for these get-togethers. Everyone was always paired up or drunk. Though Roe hadn't been in a serious relationship since Maura, she'd always find someone to hook up with whenever she needed a date for something. _That _never came easily for Jane. So the only time the poor brunette had someone was when Casey or Dean were in town, which was seldom.

...

''You wanna come to the airport with me?'', the medical examiner asked her friend. It was Tuesday before Thanksgiving, and Maura was due to fly in the next day at 6pm.

''I think I'll pass. I'll come over on Thursday morning to see her''

''Come on Jane. She's excited to see you'', Rosario squealed in an uncharacteristic way.

''She _has _seen me'', Jane deadpanned.

Maura and Jane had spoken via skype twice. Jane had to admit, the blonde woman was rather beautiful. But computers always had a way of making everything beautiful, and besides, she wasn't really concentrating on her friends girlfriends looks. She just felt self-conscious and wanted the call to finish already. The woman was literal and didn't understand half the things Jane said. It was a pointless endeavour Jane concluded. And when they stuck to the once in two months three minute conversations she was thrilled. She wouldn't tell Rosario though, it would come off as rude and uncaring.

''Okay then. I'll just tell her my good friend wasn't interested in meeting her until it was absolutely necessary'', she fake sulked.

''You wouldn't''

''I don't know. We'll see. I'm so happy'', Roe gushed. ''I haven't seen her in almost four weeks. Tomorrow is like forever away''

''You know I meant to ask you'', Jane moved from the steel table she was sitting on to stand opposite her friend with the dead body in the middle of them. ''You guys seem really serious. What are you going to do with this whole distance thing? Cause I can tell you from experience, it always leads to trouble''. Jane was genuinely concerned for her friend. She could tell the woman was in love from the way she went on about Maura. Jane practically knew the woman already.

''You weren't in love with Casey or Dean Jane, that's the difference''.

Jane knew this wasn't a dig in any way. She had spoken at great length with Rosario about this. ''I guess you have a point. But at some point, aren't you going to want to be in the same state at least''

''I'll be honest, I have hinted at this a few times'', she did the last stitch to her Y-incision and covered up the body, giving Jane her full attention. ''Maura isn't interested in moving to Boston _at all. _Remember I told you she went to BCU?''

''Yeah. The more reason I'd think _she _should be the one to move here''

''I thought that too. But after she graduated she said she left because the city didn't hold good memories and she just wanted to leave it all behind''

''What does that mean?'', Jane asked.

''I didn't ask too much Jane. Personal topics like that make her uncomfortable and sad, and I hate it. I looked into moving to Maryland myself''

''What?'', Jane yelled. Fearing her friend was already leaving.

''I'm not moving Jane. At least not any time soon anyway. A move to Maryland would take me a step back in my career, and I'm not sure if Maura and I have reached a stage where I can make such a sacrifice for her''

''Good'', Jane smiled.

''You're so selfish. You should be encouraging me to run towards love'', Roe joked.

''Nah. I'd rather have my friend right where she is'', she laughed. Jane felt a little iffy about Maura sometimes. She didn't like the way the woman shied away from letting Rosario in. Her detective mind told her something was up with the woman's secretiveness. And Jane couldn't be happier to spend time with her, so she could fish it out of the woman and investigate whether her friend was in a worthwhile relationship.

* * *

''Maura'', Rosario engulfed the petite woman in her long arms.

''Hello'', Maura buried her face in her girlfriend's long dark mane, she was only a very few inches shorter. ''It's so good to see you'', they pulled apart and shared a welcoming kiss that said I missed you.

''Come on, lets get you out of here'', Rosario pulled Maura's large suitcase.

''I thought Jane was coming with you'', Maura asked as they headed to the car.

''Yeah, she bailed on me yesterday. Said she'd be over tomorrow morning though''

Maura held back most of the times when speaking to people. She didn't understand why people found it so difficult to speak properly – correct sentences and the use of full words. She loved her girlfriend, and often corrected her at times, but other times she just felt too tired to be bothered.

...

''Hey'', Roe answered her phone on the third ring.

''Sorry to disturb you. Ma's going ape shit here about the food. She wants to know if your girlfriend is allergic to anything'', Jane spoke hurriedly and frustratedly into the phone.

''Sure, just a sec'', she handed the phone to the blonde. Maura took the phone in surprise, mouthing ''who is it''. ''Jane'', Roe told her.

''Hello Jane'', she spoke kindly.

''Ummm…hey'', Jane wasn't expecting the phone to be transferred to someone else.

Maura didn't understand why Jane sounded surprised and speechless, but waited patiently nonetheless, she was nothing if not patient.

''Listen, I'm sorry to interrupt you. My mother just wanted to know if you are allergic to anything''

''Why is that, if you don't mind my asking''. Maura wasn't following.

''For…..the food. You know, Thanksgiving and all'', Jane said, but couldn't help the bit of sarcasm in her voice.

''Of course, my apologies. Do let her know that I am not allergic to anything, and thank her for her consideration''

''Cool'', Jane was about to hang up when she remembered. ''I'm sorry, I didn't even ask if you travelled alright. I would have come to meet you but my mother is driving me out of my mind here''

''I travelled alright Jane, thank you for asking. And don't worry about our meeting, I will be glad to see you tomorrow''

''Yeah. Well…..night then'', Jane said uncomfortably. There was something about Maura that made her uneasy at times. She didn't like it, whatever it was.

''Were you finished with Rosario?''

''Yeah. Tell her I said I'll see you guys around ten''

Before Maura even got out her final parting words, the line was dead. She didn't comment on it and just relayed the message to her girlfriend.

They made dinner together and caught up on stories they hadn't shared over the phone in the past three weeks. Maura made dinner and sorted out her luggage before the two shared a bath involving a whole lot of sex and eventually went to bed.

* * *

Thanksgiving – the day Detective Jane Rizzoli was dreading had come. She was only happy her mother had slept over at Ralph's preparing all the food, so she didn't have anyone to wake her up so early in the morning. She did however, have to head over to meet Maura around ten. That thought is what had her dragging herself out of bed a little after 9am.

...

''Hey honey'', Roe kissed Maura goodmorning. The blonde, as an early riser, had brought breakfast in bed for her lover. Rosario, as the ever adaptable one, could wake up whatever time she chose. If she had to be up early, it was with no difficulty. If she wasn't tied to any early activities, sleeping-in was also welcome. She was sort of the in-between between her girlfriend the morning person and her friend the one who wanted to punch anyone in her way if it was before 9am.

''Morning. I wasn't sure if Jane would like to join us for breakfast, or what she'd like if she did'', Maura rambled nervously. She was starting to feel the anxiety over having to meet someone new. Someone important to her girlfriend. It was quite daunting for a socially awkward person, and Maura didn't quite know what to do with herself, or how to get out of the predicament – if she even could.

''I can feel you thinking hard baby'', Roe smiled sweetly.

''I'm just nervous that's all'', Maura breathed hard.

''Well don't be. You've spoken to Jane several times. She's cool. Don't sweat it''

When Maura first met Rosario at the conference, she was instantly taken by her. But it came as a great surprise to her when she met the medical examiner in a different environment. She was intelligent but wasn't like most educated and sophisticated people she knew. The woman was atune with social situations and colloquialism much unlike her. And even though they were in the same line of work and almost same societal brunch, Rosario knew slang and sports and even spoke un-intelligently if she wanted to. It amazed Maura, and it made up one of the things she loved about the woman.

...

Maura made herself presentable as always, dressing in fine fitting black trousers and a cream warm sweater. She paced nervously in the kitchen in her house slippers, glancing at the clock ever two minutes hoping Jane would just show up already so could get her breathing back to normal.

The sound of the doorbell almost made her jump out of her skin. Rosario was upstairs doing whatever she was doing, while Maura stayed glancing around the beautiful living room and occupying the kitchen.

''That should be Jane'', Rosario called out. ''Can you get it honey?''

Maura wanted to die. But she didn't have a choice because Jane was now ringing for the third time. She held her head high – mainly for her own self confidence – and walked over to the door.

Before Maura, stood one of the most gorgeous women she had ever set her eyes on. Her long hair was curl and unruly, framing a perfectly sculpted face. And those eyes, Maura thought she'd lose herself in them if she continued to stare. _Had Jane always been that beautiful? Wow. _

Jane was battling the same thing. She hadn't even gone further down Maura's neck and she was positive the woman was a goddess. Her hair was perfectly curled, clear pale skin tinted with a rose colour over her cheek. Her lips were covered in red lipstick, and her eyes? They were adorned by a smokey grey eye-shadow and black liner. Their colour though? Jane didn't even want to go there.

They stared at each other for a long time, (or maybe it was a short time), before Maura stepped aside to let her in. When she closed the door and turned to Jane, the brunette flashed her a full on Rizzoli smile, dimples and all. Maura didn't know it was possible for Jane to be any more beautiful than she already was. And when she smiled back at Jane, and showed _her _own dimples, Jane was positive she was the most beautiful woman on earth.

Had they never seen these dimples on skype before? Hadn't they smiled at each other on video call in the past? It seemed like the very first time the two were ever setting eyes on each other. It was a moment the both wanted to capture and bottle so it was stored for a lifetime.

Jane experienced more chemistry in those few minutes than she ever had with ALL her boyfriends combined. It was epic – monumental. And the words her late father spoke to her made perfect sense instantly. Like how the act of adding one plus one gives you two. It was simple and straight forward. ''When you meet that person, you will know. You will feel it''. Yes, she knew. And _God_ did she feel it. Her father never said anything about the persons sex, or about their age, or whether or not they should be single. She wished she had asked her father those questions when she had the chance. The problem was, when those words were spoken to her, she had little to no faith in them. And now, she was stuck.

The problem wasn't the object of her affections, because she knew without a doubt that Maura felt the exact same thing _she _felt. It was written all over her face, clear as day. The issue was the woman now making her way downstairs.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Rizzoli and Isles**

* * *

Maura isles never believed in love at sight. It seemed like a literary over dramatized phenomenon. After just a little research on the topic, Maura concluded that what people experienced at first sight wasn't exactly _love. _It was simply a strange feeling of contentment upon laying your eyes on someone pleasurable to look at. What made it seem like love was the bizarre realization that the person you were looking at was feeling it to. So it seemed people were quick to call it love. This connection – according to her research – was said to occur to people who were experiencing a lack of some component in their lives.

As Maura saw it, she wasn't lacking anything. She had a beautiful girlfriend, and a satisfying career. And anyone who would have before yesterday told her about love at first sight would have just been brushed away. But today, the Friday after Thanksgiving, Maura was doubting her intelligence greatly. For whatever reason, the whole concept was starting to make sense. It was like the story about religion. The belief lies on your own understanding, and feelings, and experiences. A person can't just read about religion and all of a sudden truly believe it. Even if they conduct their research, only first-hand experience can solidify the belief.

When religious people talk about '…and the Lord spoke to me'. Or when they go off speaking in tongues or reading and understanding the parables they have in the bible, it comes off laughable to some people who don't believe. But those people hold on to their beliefs, and they pray to the Lord all the time because it works for _them. _Because _they _have witnessed first-hand the miracles God has done for _them. _So it makes sense. To someone who has nothing to draw from, it means absolutely nothing.

Maura Isles had witnessed first-hand the truth in love at first sight. And to anyone else, it may have been laughable or silly, but not to her and not to Jane. It was an intense and overwhelming situation. That she'd talked to Jane on skype before meant nothing after she laid eyes on her in the flesh. She hadn't planned it, hadn't in her wildest dreams imagined it.

All that talk about getting to know each other and eventually falling in love was a sad joke to Maura. The idea that feelings had to develop and that attraction wasn't _really_ falling in love but just maybe infatuation wanted to make Maura spit in someone's face.

* * *

''So, is there anything you wanna do in particular?'', Jane shyly asked the blonde. Rosario had to go into work for a few hours on the Friday after thanksgiving, leaving Jane and Maura to their own devices for that time.

''Not in particular. It's rather cold, do you mind staying in?''. They were at Roe's place, where Jane had arrived as soon as her friend left.

''You do have a point…'', there should have been a but in there somewhere, but it never made it out.

''There are however, other indoor places we can be other than _here_'', the blonde mentioned suggestively. Happy that Maura had caught on to her trepidation, Jane happily made a suggestion.

''We could go to my place and watche some movies if you like''. The last thing Jane wanted was to be under her friends roof ogling said friends girlfriend. It just felt weird, on par with sleeping with someone on their matrimonial bed, according to Jane.

''That would be nice. Let me just dress up''

''You _are _dressed up'', Jane said. Maura was in a knee length skirt and a sweater, the brunette couldn't understand what had to be changed.

''I just threw this on after showering Jane, it wouldn't be appropriate to visit your home in such a state''

''Please'', Jane stopped her by grabbing hold of her arm, ''I deem your state of dress appropriate for my place. Just come like that, you look wonderful''. Maura blushed, casting her eyes downwards and finally taking notice of her hand in Jane's. It was like one of those times on cartoons when the character starts running but they remain in one place with their legs going round and round for a while, before they actually start moving. Maura's was still going around in the one place, but finally she started moving – internally that is. She looked back at Jane, and the fire she was met with in the brunettes eye almost burned her to ashes. She felt like she was melting little by little.

''Okay'', she whispered. And then Jane let go of her hand.

* * *

Maura was excited to see Jane's place. In her experience, a person's dwelling told many stories about them. The previous day (Thanksgiving dinner) had been a disappointment to Maura. Truth is, if she hadn't felt how she felt about Jane, the day would have been wonderful – one of her best even. She was in the company of her loving girlfriend and surrounded by a family that loved and welcomed her. It wasn't something that normally happened to Maura Isles, and she should have been happy. But the day was a disaster. She had met Jane, and everything had changed since then. From the time they arrived, everybody had been vying for her attention, and Maura couldn't very well ignore them. The object of her attraction – Jane – was lost in the midst of all the people, and Maura barely saw her.

Throughout the evening, they had stolen glances at each other. Each glance more intense than the previous one. Maura wondered what the brunette was thinking when she was looking at Maura without her knowledge, for she knew that when they were looking at each other, no thinking was involved.

Maura wanted to just pause the whole evening, so she could have just five minutes alone with Jane to just be. She hadn't even got the chance to have an uninterrupted exchange with the brunette to get to…..she didn't even know what she hoped to achieve by getting that private time. And before she knew it, her girlfriend was bidding everyone good bye – apparently she had agreed to the suggestion of leaving. She didn't know why, when all she wanted was to stay and be anywhere near Jane.

...

''Here we are'', Jane opened the door and let Maura in first. Jo Friday came trotting up to the visitor.

''Oh you have a dog!'', Maura knelt down to pat the little terrier.

''Yeah, she's girl in my life'', Jane laughed, and stopped the exact second she realized what she'd said. ''I meant…you know'', she shrugged.

Maura stood up and faced Jane. She decided to take that moment to ask Jane the question she had. ''Are you a lesbian Jane?'', came the blunt question. Rosario had told her Jane was straight, and everyone else at the Thanksgiving dinner had affirmed that by brief comments about a Gabriel Dean and a Casey Jones.

Jane gulped loudly, staring at Maura like a deer caught in the headlight. Her obvious and default answer to that question had always been a straight up no. She didn't even have to think about it. But when the question came from Maura, it seemed like an entirely different inquiry altogether. She wanted to say no, but in light of the situation it was going to sound downright stupid. And by situation I mean her poorly concealed attraction to Maura.

''I've never been with a woman before'', that was the most honest thing Jane had ever remembered saying in a LONG time. Saying she was gay, or denying it was going to be a lie. She was still figuring _that _out. But telling Maura she had never been with a woman was telling the truth, and if Maura was as smarted as she appeared to be, Jane hoped she'd read between the line.

''Why is that?'', Maura asked curiously. _Did she really not know the gay vibes she gave off?, Maura asked herself. _

''Would you like a hot chocolate, or some coffee or something?'', Jane took off on a tangent.

Maura just smiled, seeing how uncomfortable Jane was getting. ''I'll have whatever you are having''

''Okay, give me a minute''

''Can I look around?'', Maura asked already tapping her fingers on Jane's mantel piece.

''Of course, go ahead. I would have offered to show you around but other than my bedroom and the bathroom this is it''

As Jane made hot chocolate, Maura studied the baseball memorabilia that was part of Jane's possessions. She came to the conclusion that the woman loved sport, just like Rosario. On the walls were some frames of football and baseball teams. The brunette had a small stack of book, which indicated that she wasn't much of a reader. The general messiness told Maura the woman wasn't big on neatness and was very laid back. Nothing in Jane's apartment looked incredibly pricey except for her piano. Every space looked used and touched, like Jane had exactly enough room for herself and her things. It was very interesting to Maura, when compared to the way she had lived all her life. Even now, she could think of places in her house she'd never touched since first moving in. If it hadn't been for her cleaner, the place would have been gathering dust in some areas.

''Do you play often'', Maura ran one digit over the white piano notes.

''Not anymore really'', Jane came into the room with two mugs of hot chocolate in hand.

''Why's that''

Jane debated whether to tell her the truth or not. It's not like she had a choice, every time Maura asked her a question she couldn't help but tell the truth. ''I used to play a lot, in fact, I composed a few of my own…forget it'', Jane caught herself before saying too much.

''Why did you stop?'', Maura persisted, sipping on her hot beverage and standing by the piano.

''I had no one to play to okay'', Jane answered a little too roughly. ''I'm sorry'', came an apology.

''It's okay. I should learn to tone down my persistence''

''It's just that….'', Jane sighed and walked over to Maura by the piano. ''It's nice when you make solo compositions knowing you have someone to play them to at some point. I had a few, but I eventually stopped playing because there was no one to play them to'', Jane looked longingly at her piano keys that hadn't been touched by her fingers in over two years. ''My ex-boyfriends…none of them were interested''

''What about your family, or friends?''

''The cords and songs aren't really the type you would play for someone you weren't…you know…with''

''I don't understand'', Maura tilted her hand cutely to the side.

''They are meant for a lover Maura'', Jane said exasperatedly.

''Oh'', comprehension finally dawned on the blonde.

''So _that's _why I don't play anymore''

''I'm sorry'', Maura offered needlessly.

''It's not your fault''.

The blonde ran her fingers gently over the keys again. How she wished she could ask Jane to play for her. Jane watched her, mesmerized by how a single individual could be so breathtakingly beautiful. They lapsed into a silence, each lost in their own thoughts. When Maura looked up, it was to find Jane staring at her, no, _through _her. If Jane felt any shame, she might have averted her gaze that second, but she couldn't. She felt drawn to Maura. The doctor couldn't understand how, but they found themselves taking a step towards each other at the same time. A few inches separated them, just one step and they'd be flush against each other. A few seconds of increased intensity passed, in which they were sure they were going to share their first kiss – but then Maura's phone rang. She almost dropped her mug at the sound, and managed to spill some of the brown liquid on her beige cashmere sweater.

''I'm sorry, lemme…'', Jane rushed to take the mug and placed it on top of her piano. Without even thinking, she hurriedly pulled of her unzipped sweater and began padding it on Maura's bosom. The phone was still chiming away, long forgotten by the owner when Jane stepped into her personal space – toe to toe – and the only thing separating her breasts from Jane's hand was the large material in the brunette's hand.

''I'm sorry'', Jane said again when she realised what she was doing. ''I'd mean to…it's just that your sweater…it's…'', Jane stammered like a criminal called out on their wrong doings unsuspectingly.

''It's okay'', Maura blushed. ''I do like this sweater''

''You can take it off'', Jane's own eyes widened at her words. ''I mean, you can let me throw it in the washer before it stains permanently''. She wanted the ground beneath her to open up and swallow her whole. _Pull yourself together, came her inside voice. _

''You don't have to wash it Jane, thank you. But maybe for the sake of comfort I could ask you for something else warm to change into''

''Yes, I can give you that'', Jane said happily. Relieved that she could at least make herself useful in a way. ''Let me get you something'', Jane ran into her bedroom. She wanted to take a minute to get on her knees to thank the gods above for their mercy. It was just last weekend that her mother had dragged her into joining her and Lydia for shopping. She had whined like a toddler that whole time but came out of the mall with two decent looking sweaters. So now she at least had something new and decent to give Maura - never mind the size.

''Here'', she said triumphantly as she exited her bedroom holding forward the garment. ''I hope it fits, you know'', she gestured vaguely to Maura breasts and shorter arms.

''Thank you Jane. I'm sure it will be fine. This is quite embarrassing, I never spoiled my clothes even as a child'', Maura kept her eyes down cast.

''Its okay. Do you prefer to use the bathroom or the bedroom?''

''I could just use your room, if you don't mind''

''Not at all'', Jane pointed to it. Maura could easily have used the bathroom, but she was dying to learn more about Jane. And a visit to her bedroom would be an excellent opportunity. She walked in and quietly closed the door, seeing Jane looking at her intently. In Jane's room, Maura got the shock of her life. The brunette's bed was messy and had a few clothes thrown on it. On the floor were shoes and bits and pieces of all sorts of things. She had a simple dresser with a mirror and stool that matched the bed frame. On the dresser were very few products, indicating that the brunette didn't care much about make-up and all that stuff. Not that she had to worry, Jane had what they call 'natural beauty'. One of her closet doors was open and Maura could make out a selection of identical black dress pants and jackets, and a few protruding long and short sleeved shirts. It was funny, because her own closet made up about two-thirds of Jane's entire room. She was dealing with a simple woman – on the outside. The inside was a completely different ball game.

Remembering why she was in there in the first place, Maura began to take of her wet sweater. It was then that she heard the shrill of her mobile phone once again. She'd completely forgotten what caused all of this.

''Uhhh, Maura'', Jane called cautiously from the other side of the door.

''Could you please bring it'', Maura said as she also walked towards the door.

Before she even got to her third step, the door was opening. And there Jane was, face to face with a bra-clad Maura. _Could this get any worse…or better, she asked herself. _

''I thought uhhh'', she faltered when her eyes fell on Maura's breasts again. ''I'll just…'', and the phone stopped ringing again – in Jane's hand this time.

Maura watched the detective's shaky hand bringing the device towards her. The blonde took two more steps and she was right in front of Jane once again, looking up into those soulful brown eyes. God, she was beautiful. Maura could feel the loud beating of her heart, and the goose bumps erupting from her unclothed state. It didn't matter though, the heat boiling inside her was enough to warm her for days to come.

And then that pull was back again, with a vengeful force. But just like before, the phone rang again.

''Hello'', Maura answered a little bitterly into the device. She didn't even bother to check who it was.

''_Hey baby. I've been trying you for a while, is everything okay'', Rosario worried._

''Oh, hi Rosario. Sorry, I couldn't get to the phone in time'', it wasn't a lie, because she couldn't lie. Maura really couldn't get to it in time, because by the time she finished having eye-sex with Jane is was too late. She turned away from Jane at that point. It was too weird talking to your girlfriend on the phone while being stared at by her friend, while standing in her bedroom topless.

''_It's fine, I didn't mean to bother you. I just saw some ticket online for a musical tonight that I thought I could get for us. So I wanted to know if you'd like that''_

''That sounds wonderful'', she lowered her voice. Out of Jane's line of vision, she was beginning to feel cold. She took Jane's sweater and made a sloppy attempt to just cover herself a little.

''_Great, can you ask Jane if she wants to come too''_

Oh boy, Maura thought.

''Jane'', she called out cautiously. The brunette appeared almost immediately. ''Rosario wants to know if you'd like to go to the theatre for a musical tonight?''

''Don't let me disturb you, you can go without me''

''_I'm bringing a friend'', Roe called out to Maura as she heard Jane's reply. _

''I'm not being set-up on a date again Roe. No'', Jane stated.

After a beat, _''Okay, four tickets purchased. See you later guys''_

''Roe'', Jane whined. She hated being set up on those stupid dates with those stupid guys. And it made it worse now that Maura was going to be around for this.

''See you later then. Oh'', Maura remembered. ''We are at Jane's apartment''.

''_Sure, I'll come pick you guys up there. I'll be done here at four. Love you baby''_

Maura swallowed, ''Love you too''. The line went dead. They stayed in silence for a bit. Jane standing beside Maura who was sitting on her bed, holding firmly to the sweater.

''This is going to suck'', Jane said and walked away.

* * *

When Maura was dressed, she walked out of Jane's bedroom.

''Do you mind answering my question from earlier on?'', Maura asked. Jane was slumped on her couch looking miserable as ever.

''Which one'', she remained staring at the switched off television in front of her.

''Why you have never dated a woman before''

''I never met a woman I wanted to be with _before''_, came the honest answer once again. But Maura didn't miss the way Jane said 'before'. As if to imply that she had now.

''If you do find a woman you are attracted to, would you be against starting a homosexual relationship?''

''Please don't put it like that'', Jane laughed despite herself. ''It makes it sound so…unsexy''

''How should I phrase it then?'', Maura asked curiously.

''I don't know. Just…don't phrase it at all'', they both laughed.

….

''What do you normally like to watch?'', Jane channel surfed trying to find a movie that could interest both of them.

''Documentaries or romance'', came the immediate answer. Maura enjoyed those two categories for the opposite reasons. Documentaries were plausible and educational. They were worth watching and she always got something at the end. Romance movies were very impractical and inaccurate. It was a bunch of fiction and left her with nothing at all – a complete waste of time to be precise. But that was her guilty pleasure. She didn't like monsters and action figures – the likes of Iron man, or Elysium. So romance was her action and her escape.

''Hmm'', Jane huffed. ''Two of the genres I _don't _watch''

''We could always watch anything you like'', Maura offered. She was used to it anyway. Rosario, or her previous lovers for that matter, didn't enjoy documentaries or romantic movies.

''It's okay. I'll find a romantic movie though, I don't think I can make it through a documentary''

Maura was surprised; no one really cared to indulge her that way. Jane sure was something.

''Right, the best I have seen so far is 'Raising Helen''', she referred to the films on the t.v guide. ''I don't even know if that's a romantic comedy'', Jane pressed the 'info' button so they could ready what the movie was about.

''I wouldn't mind watching that'', Maura said.

''Raising Helen it is'', Jane pressed the button to go to the channel. The movie would be starting in ten minutes so Jane made a move to get comfortable. It was dreary outside because of the cold weather. And the thick dark grey clouds just made it all the more dark. Jane pulled her blinds down – there was no need to have open anyway. She put one of the dull kitchen lights on, just for a bit of illumination. The ambiance was romantic before Jane even knew it. It was too late to do anything about it anyway, not that she wanted to.

''What would you like to munch on'', Jane asked from the kitchen. She had thrown in some popcorn in the microwave and was getting some cheese puffs to mix with them.

''I wouldn't mind another hot chocolate, I'm rather cold''

Jane made the beverage with great enthusiasm – anything to make Maura happy. She then mixed up her popcorn and puffs and took the large bowl to the living room, before bringing two hot chocolates again. She took a bigger blanket from her room and brought it to the couch before settling down. It was twelve exactly when the movie began.

They both sat leaning against opposite arm rests, with their legs in the middle. The little space between them didn't allow for their legs not to touch. On top of the blanket sat the bowl of puffs they shared, as their mugs rested on the table Jane had pulled against the sofa.

''Oh boy, not these modelling people again'', Jane started her commentary when the movie began.

About seven minutes later, they were now at a party of one of the sister's who had three children. ''That's a _lot _of kids. Can you imagine having all those?'', Jane asked Maura.

''Well I don't know really. I can't say they are a lot in a way, _your _mother had three''

''And that's why she's crazy'', they both laughed. ''I don't wanna end up like her''

''Don't say that. She's a wonderful woman Jane''

''PLEASE don't tell her that'', Jane begged.

And then fourteen minutes later, the sister who was having a birthday party died. ''Oh this is going to be sad. I don't feel like crying Maura'',

The movie went on and on, and Jane didn't close her mouth for more than five minutes. ''Do you always speak this much during movies?'', Maura eventually asked.

''So you think I talk too much'', Jane smiled at the blushing blonde.

''Only since the movie began, yes''

''I'm surprised it took you this long to tell me. People who know me usually don't like to watch movies with me. And besides, I normally watch sport, which involves lots of shouting''

''I can understand now''

So they watched the rest of the movie, Jane talking incessantly and Maura laughing out loud. Jane loved that most of all. The blonds dimples showed and boy was she beautiful. They caught each other staring occasionally, and held each others gazes for long moments. The ambiance was so perfect, they seemed to lose themselves in and stay in the bubble they had created that afternoon.

They didn't movie when the movie was over, Jane answered some of Maura's questions about what she normally did during her time off and what she would have been doing if Maura wasn't there. Somewhere along the line, their legs entwined together under the blanket. And because of minor cramps, they ended up both stretching their legs out.

Jane picked up the foot that rested beside her hip and ran her finger over the Ralph Lauren logo. ''Do you _have _to wear designer socks?''

''No, I don't _have _to''. And that was all Maura had to offer. Jane was starting to forget how weird the woman was – clouded by her new found attraction to her.

''I mean, is it necessary?'', Jane was now holding the foot on her thigh, drawing lazy circles around the top.

''That's all I've really know Jane – designer clothes. It's not who I _am, _its what I wear. If that is what you were referring to''

''I guess it is, sorry. I don't even know where that came from''. Jane knew. It came from the subconscious part of her brain that was telling her not to get too lost in Maura's eyes because she couldn't have her – for more reasons other than that she was with her friend.

''It doesn't matter. I have asked you a lot of personal questions, I think it is only fair that you ask the same too''

And just like that, their little bubble burst. They hadn't even noticed that it was now 5:30pm. Rosario was supposed to have arrived and hour ago. Maura's phone was now ringing, and the name Rosario shone clearly. Guiltily, she picked up the ringing device from the table.

''Hello''

''_I am SO sorry I'm running late. The show starts in an hour across town. Do you think you could get ready so I won't have to come up?'' the woman spoke quickly into the phone. Maura felt bad that her girlfriend was apologizing, yet she hadn't even realized the woman was even late._

''We'll see you in a short while then''

Sadly, they got themselves ready. And in fifteen minutes, Rosario was calling them from downstairs.


	3. Chapter 3

**AN: Thank you guys for patiently waiting for this chapter**

* * *

Jane sat on the little stool coming face to face with her piano. It had been years since she last played. She remembered writing a song for Casey before he went to Afghanistan. She had played the song for him, hoping that he would change his mind and stay _for _her. But her plan had failed dismally. Casey had still enlisted, and she was left heartbroken with a song that would never reach the ears of anyone else. That's when she'd stopped. What was the point anyway?

Now she felt like she had a purpose - Maura. Words were not anywhere near enough when just spoken in their plainness, she needed to find something to do _to _them.

She sat at her piano for nearly three hours that Saturday afternoon, writing and re-writing words. Trying to find the best possible string of letters that could convey what she was feeling. Jane Rizzoli wasn't proud of herself. For years she had prided herself in loyalty. She wasn't a liar nor was she a deceiver. She was trustworthy, even if she said so herself.

The theatre outing last night had been a pathetic attempt at entertainment. She'd sat with a _woman _Roe had set her up with. Jane didn't even try to like her. She had never thought of herself as having _a type, _but now Jane knew that whatever her type was, it was certainly was not the woman her friend had tried to set her up with. Jane had a very active mind, she needed someone who could hold her interest, even if it was for one evening. And that's why all her few dates failed. No one was interesting enough. No one had anything to say to her that would make her want to hear more. They all left her wanting to put a gun in her mouth.

But that was all until she met Maura. The blonde could hold her interest for an eternity without having to say a word. Maura was everything Jane had ever wanted in a person. And being stuck with the date she had that night made her angrier by the minute.

Seeing Jane's frustration, and maybe feeling an inexplicable jealousy, Maura had tried her best to accommodate the pair – making it more of a foursome that a double date. It warmed Jane's heart, and that is the only thing that had helped her get through the evening. Every time she'd watched her friend with Maura, she'd felt hurt and angry at herself. She wasn't supposed to feel that way for her friend's girlfriend. Regardless of the moral talk, she found herself still trying to write something for Maura that Saturday. She'd been out of practice for a long time, so it was proving much harder than she though.

A doctor friend of Rosario's was getting married that Saturday evening. Jane wished she hadn't accepted that invitation. She wished so many thing now that she'd met Maura. Rosario's was going to be doing a lot of running around at the wedding so she had, three months ago, asked Jane to come so she could at least keep her girlfriend company.

Her clock read 4:00pm, meaning she had to start getting ready. The wedding was starting at five and Jane was not keen on being 'fashionably late'. What Jane hated first and fore most was the fact that she had to dress up. It took too much effort and time, both of which she was never willing to spare.

A dress had been out of the question the second Roe mentioned the wedding. If she was going to have an awful time, she at least expected to do it in comfortable clothing. Luckily for her, the wedding theme was grey and pale pink. She was glad it wasn't something ridiculous like green or purple, otherwise she wouldn't have known what to wear.

As it was, Jane had purchased a grey 'pant and jacket' combo that went well with the pale pink shirt. She was in her comfort zone in terms of clothing, despite the pink colour. Her outfit was to go with the black 'easy to walk in' heels she'd bought. She was all set, no purse needed.

She quickly got showered and dressed. Looking to make a change, she straightened her hair out a little bit and put it to a decent looking ponytail. She wasn't in the mood of blowing it out of her face all night. Jane then applied make-up. It had been a while since having to go through all of this. Last night she'd had done absolutely nothing for her impromptu date.

But quarter to five she was ready to leave, and she knew she was going to be a little late. The wedding was at a hotel about half an hour from her place. Thanks to no traffic, she made it there at an unquestionable time. A few other people were coming in as well, so she didn't feel too bad about her arrival time.

_''Are you here yet?'', Roe answered into her phone when Jane rang her._

''Yeah, just about to walk in. You at the table?''

_''Jane, Maura is all by herself. I thought you'd be here already'', her friend complained. ''I'm checking on the catering''_

''Alright, alright, lemme get in. See ya''. Jane took a deep breath and walked in. The room was beautifully decorated in pinks and greys. It all looked fancy and too posh for Jane's comfort. She was happy to spot a few other women wearing suits as well, at least it didn't leave her feeling too 'butch', as her friend had put it when Jane mentioned what she would wear.

She greeted a few overly polite unknown people as she searched for their table. She almost tripped over herself when her eyes landed on Maura Isles. Her long blonde hair was curled beautifully and a few loose tendrils framed her face. Her lips were a pale pink colour as well, and she wore silver dangling earrings. The earth stood still as they starred at each other.

Maura was certain there wasn't anyone on earth nearly as handsome as Jane Rizzoli. She watched the tall woman swagger over to her, in her suit glory, looking like a champion. She stood up, in her pale pink, long dress to give Jane a hug in greeting.

It was amazing, how strong Jane was. With one arm she pulled Maura in by the waist for a hug, and planted a small kiss to her cheek that left the doctor looking almost the same colour as her dress.

''You look beautiful Maura'', Jane commented when they sat down.

''You…'', Maura didn't think there were any words to describe how awesome Jane looked. She was having a hard time equating her to the woman she'd only seen in casual wear. The brunette hadn't even bothered to look extra nice for Thanksgiving. She'd just worn jeans and a shirt.

...

Everything else going on at the wedding was truly lost on them. They couldn't keep their eyes off of each other. In just that one night, they'd had enough eye-sex to last them a year. Jane was actually scared of being in a private place with Maura. she was using all the self-restraint she possessed as it was, being alone would mean she wouldn't be able to control herself, and it didn't look at all like Maura could.

Rosario was on and off the table, having many things to attend to. She wasn't bothered though, she knew her girlfriend was with her friend so all was well. The friend getting married had trusted her to help make her 'big day' a success, and Roe wasn't planning on letting her down.

After the bride and grooms dance, the floor was open to everyone else to dance. They were holding a competition for best rival against the bride and groom. The two newlyweds had danced to James Blunt's You're beautiful, and the people willing to partake in the completion were to dance to the same song till the crowd picked a winner.

The bride and groom got to choose five couples they wanted from their guests, and they would all dance and the winning couple would receive their gift from the bride and groom. They picked the first three, and when they got to the picking a fourth someone from the guests yelled, ''What about us gays''. The whole room erupted in laughter. The bride and groom then began their search for a gay couple.

Maura and Jane were deep in conversation, oblivious to everything going on around them. They were both jerked to reality when a man from the next table nudged Jane. To their surprise, everyone was looking at them. ''What?'', Jane asked.

''Come and join the other couples'', the bride said. They had no idea what was going on. The man beside Jane quickly explained what was happening as the bride and groom picked up their last couple. The five couples were put on the spotlight on the dance floor in front of everyone else as the song began to play.

_''My life is brilliant, my love is pure. I saw an angel, of that I'm sure…'', _Jane put her trembling hands around Maura's waist as Maura's fell loosely around her neck. They moved slowly and methodically along to the tune just like the other couples. But they easily got lost in each other once against. Contest long forgotten, they were now dancing for each other only.

_''….and I don't know what to do, cause I'll never be with you''. _Jane looked sadly at Maura as that line was sang. How she wished they'd met in another life. Where everything was less complicated and being together only depended on whether they loved each other or not.

''You don't know that'', Maura said quietly to her, in response to that line that had just be sang.

''Don't go there please'', she begged. Though it seemed more like she was telling herself and not Maura.

Without thinking better of it, she pulled Maura flash against her. And the feel of Maura's body against her own almost had her undone. She could the swell of the blonde's ample bosom against her own, their hips against each other, and Maura's breath washing over the side of her neck.

''You're beautiful'', Jane told her as the song drew to a close.

''So are you'', Maura looked at her. It was that look that had made them almost kiss three times already. And it was happening again, that pull towards each other. And Jane didn't know what to do. She was going to kiss Maura in front of everyone, and she was going to ruin everything good in her line. Such an action had a domino effect. It impacted her family life, her social life, and most importantly her work life. She couldn't do that.

So while everyone began cheering, she disappeared.

''Jane'', Maura ran after her. Lucky for them, everyone else was invested in the couple had had danced the best. Maura wasn't sure if her and Jane had even been dancing. For all she knew, they might as well have been standing on the same place for four minutes.

''Maura, please'', Jane walked briskly out of the hotel conference room where the wedding was being held.

''Can you just stop for a minute'', the blonde begged. And Jane stopped, she decided in that minute that she didn't ever want to hear Maura beg her for anything – Maura deserved better than that. ''Where are you going?''

''Home'', Jane said as if it were obvious.

''Why?'', came a confused answer.

''Why?'', Jane chuckled mirthlessly. ''You didn't see that in there?'', she pointed to the place they'd just left. ''_we almost kissed Maura!'', _she raised her voice a little, then thought better of it. ''in front of everyone. We cant do that''

''I know'', Maura agreed.

''So I am leaving. Because I can't bear to be near you and not be able to kiss you. And not be able to hold you and tell you how gorgeous you. Its too hard. I've been trying all night. Heck, I've been trying since the day I saw you. And I don't know what you're going through. But I can tell you this, its difficult. I've never felt this way about anyone before so I'm just not sure what to do with all these feelings'', her voice cracked at the end. Maura was watching her in awe. She'd stayed awake long after Rosario had fallen asleep the previous night trying to imagine what could be going on in Jane's head. Now she had an idea, and as tragic as the situation was, that was the most beautiful thing she'd ever heard.

She didn't know what to say back, Maura wasn't as fiercely passionate as Jane was. ''I don't know what to say to you Jane, other than that I am experiencing the same thing that you are''

''Roe is my _friend_'', Jane chocked on her words, wiping the run-away tear falling down her cheek.

''I know'', Maura looked at Jane desperately, hoping to draw some semblance of strength from the already broken detective.

''This would kill her. She loves you so much'', Jane wiped another tear.

''I know''.

''So you understand when I say I have to go now?''

''Yes. But…'', she grabbed Jane's hand before the woman could go to her vehicle. ''This…this doesn't mean I'm not going to see you again does it?'', she couldn't hide the fear in her eye when they met Jane's. And any hope of Jane saying no went flying out the window at that look.

''I want to say yes it means that. I want to tell you that it would be best if we stopped spending time together. That it would be the prudent thing to do in this situation. But I can't. As long as you are here in Boston, I don't think I can keep myself away from you'', Jane confessed. ''You know when I look at you, it's as if we're the only people in the world. Like we're our own entity and everyone else is in a separate category. I don't know if it makes any sense to you Maura. But in there'', she gestured to the wedding venue again, ''I can't tell you what's been going on all night. The moment I set my eyes on you I was lost. And its dangerous Maura. We cant be like that around people, around Roe. I promise I'll try to pull myself together. I don't wanna be the cause of anything bad in your life''. She took Maura hand and kissed it, running her thump over the spot on the back of Maura's hand. ''You look absolutely stunning tonight. I was honoured to be in your presence''. And with that she walked away.

Maura stood on the same stop speechless. She could now understand how possible it was for Jane write songs and make music. She had a gift, it just flowed out of her without having to think about it.

* * *

Jane had her muse now. When she got home she didn't even bother changing. She went to sit on her piano and her fingers worked magic. The tune just came to her, and so did the words. That night, she completed her first song to Maura.

...

Maura went to bed hating herself. She'd never hated herself before, it was quite a strange feeling. The wedding had gone on, for everyone else except Maura. The doctor had found no joy in being there anymore. When Rosario saw her lonesome and sulky, she'd asked where Jane was and Maura had replied with a simple, ''she had to leave''. It wasn't a lie, Jane did have to leave, though the reasons remained unsaid.

Maura felt uncomfortable in bed, lying with her girlfriend and thinking of what it'd be like to be in Jane's arms instead. It sickened her, how she could do such a thing to the lovely woman who was her girlfriend. But had she really done anything? Was the situation not out of her control? They hadn't crossed any physical boundaries as it was. They had crossed some verbal ones though, but that wasn't so bad, right? She didn't know, and she didn't have anyone to ask. Maura didn't have friends, she had acquaintances and a girlfriend, but never friends. She knew she had what to give to those two categories. Maura could impart her knowledge to a fellow worker, and she could offer her body and heart to a lover. But what could she honestly give a friend? Many argued that it wasn't possible to be a lover and not be able to be a friend as well. It wasn't true, Maura knew how to make that work easily - being a lover and not a friend that is.

But with Jane, for the first time in her life she felt like she could actually be friends with somebody. Despite the raw sexual energy between them, Maura had actually talked with Jane. She'd shared far more intimate information with the brunette than she had with her girlfriend of one year. It was scary, and wrong. But Jane had a way of bringing things out of her, and of understanding and not judging - knowing when to push and when to pull.

* * *

On Sunday morning Maura woke up pissed off. She hadn't had enough sleep and her heart ached. Even in the little sleep she had, she couldn't escape Jane. Images of the brunette flashed through her closed eye lids like a movie. She wanted so badly to see Jane again, yet she didn't want to see her at the same. Distress overwhelmed her when she learned that they had to attend the traditional Sunday dinner at Angela Rizzoli's house. Maura had hoped, for her sanity and for Rosario's heart, that she wouldn't have to see Jane just so soon. But it seemed even the universe was against them. She at least had the larger part of the day with her girlfriend to bring some sort of equilibrium to her emotions. It was still very cold and gloomy, so they decided to stay inside. Rosario was tired anyway, and Maura didn't really have the energy to do much.

And if Maura thought she hated herself before, she was wrong. Now she bitterly loathed herself. Rosario made love to her, and all she could think about was Jane. Jane doing all those things to her instead. She wanted to stop her girlfriend, to tell her that now was not a good time. But what reasonable excuse did she have? Its not like she could tell Rosario that she was falling - had fallen - in love with her good friend. She couldn't very well tell Rosario that she was thinking of nothing else but Jane. When they finished she went into the shower and her guilt manifested in the firm of tears. Most of the day was spent in her own head. The two things she wanted were mutually exclusive. It wasn't possible for her to never see Jane again and to have some alone time with her at the same time.

"You haven't been yourself since the wedding yesterday babe. Is everything okay?". Rosario finally asked her girlfriend. She knew something was wrong but had waited hoping Maura would mention it. When the blonde had not be forthcoming she had to ask.

"I just don't feel well. I'll be alright though", Maura dodged the truth.

"Why didn't you say something Maura", Rosario was a mask of concern at hearing this news.

"It's probably something from the wedding I'll be okay". And by something from the wedding she didn't mean the food, she meant Jane.

"Maybe we shouldn't go for dinner at Angela's if you aren't well. I could nurse you back to health", Roe tried to joke with her.

She offered a small smile for her girlfriend's efforts.

"I'd appreciate that", Maura tried to convince herself. She had a decent way out of seeing Jane so she took. It would have helped if she at least felt good about it. As it was, the though of not seeing Jane was actually starting to make her physically sick.

When Rosario called Jane to tell her that Maura wasn't well and that they wouldn't be coming for dinner Jane felt her her heart shattering into a million particles. Her first thought was that she hated that Maura wasn't well and she wanted to make her hot chocolate and snuggle under the covers with her. But a thick and ugly cloud of realization descended upon her like torrential rain. She realized - sadly - that Maura had lied just so she wouldn't have to see Jane. If Jane wasn't 97% sure Maura felt the way she did, she might have thought she'd been too presumptuous in her declarations to the blonde. But she knew, and she figured Maura was trying to set boundaries and distance herself as much as she could from her. As wise and noble as is was, it hurt the tough as nails detective.

...

"Is something wrong?", Angela asked her daughter once again during dinner.

"Again, I'm fine Ma", Jane loudly dropped her fork in her plate.

"I wouldn't keep asking if you actually looked fine. Or if you'd eaten more than three half spoons of your food".

And just like that Jane couldn't take it anymore.

"Sorry Ma, I gotta go". She rose from her seat and bolted out the door in record time. Her bewildered family remained staring at each other in confusion. They knew Jane was an emotional person and it took only a matter of time before she came around. What they didn't like was the fact that she never wanted to share what her issue was. She'd just sulk like that, and when you asked her she'd run out and you wouldn't see or hear from her for a whole day or maybe even two if it was bad.

This behavior had always been present but amplified after her fathers death, because he was the only one who could get the words out of her. She confided in Frankie, and even her mother. But that was in her own time, Frank was the only one who could coax it out.

Every part of Jane wanted to go to Rosario's house. It would be too easy. She'd just say she came to check in on Maura. But if Maura was trying, she needed to try too. What if her presence made Maura upset? She wouldn't be able to live with herself if she did anything wrong.

...

Maura Isles was on bed rest for an ailment she couldn't name - the closest she could come up with would be 'guilt'. And what amplified the pain was the small fact that the person tending to her every needs was the one she was guilty of hurting. They spent the day - her and Roe - cuddled up in bed. They watched a bit of television and read some journals. She couldn't stop thinking about how much she'd laughed when she was with Jane, and how funny the detective had been. Rosario was nice and funny, but she had nothing on Jane. The blonde knew she had no business comparing them, but they were subconscious thoughts she couldn't control.

"If something was bothering you you'd tell me right? Have I done anything wrong?", Rosario worried.

"You haven't done anything. Why would you think that?"

"There is something on your mind. And don't say its nothing because it is. It has you so worried and I can feel that you're not here with me. And when I ask you and you don't want to tell me, I'm compelled to feel like I have something to do with it"

"I apologize for making you feel that way", Maura said.

"Its not an apology I am looking for. I want you to confide in me, tell me whats wrong. Even if I cant help I can just listen"

Maura considered this for a long time. She could tell her that she was crushing deeply for her friend, and that nothing happened and she'd never see her again. Rosario would probably be understanding, Maura would explain that as being the reason why she didn't want to go for dinner, and her girlfriend would be glad she was doing something about it. It wouldn't be the end of the world. People had crushes here and there. But telling Rosario the truth wouldn't end well for two reasons. For one, a crush was the premature baby of what she and Jane had. And the next was that they both felt the same way. If it was one sided, it would be easy to resolve. But keeping two grown women in love apart from each other was silly. Even if the parties involved were your friend and your girlfriend.

"What would someone do to you that you would consider unforgivable?". Maura went with that.

"There could be several things Maura, why?"

''I'm just a little confused about some moral issues I'm trying to resolve. I'll try to get it out of my head''

''You can tell me and maybe I could of help'', Rosario tried.

''True. But let me think it through, and I will tell you at some point''

''Okay'', Rosario happily cuddled with her girlfriend. Maura had told her about her dislike for Boston several times and Rosario was sure that was the problem. And in past experience, she had learned that Maura didn't like talking about it, so she didn't press for answers. The blonde's question had been a little strange, but Roe disregarded it as Maura being Maura. This was the longest time she's been in Boston in a long time so Rosario thought she'd cut her some slack.

* * *

On Monday morning Rosario had to go to work. She'd tried to get someone to cover for her but the Chief M.E couldn't get a replacement for her. The best she got was Tuesday off, so at lease she'd get to spend the whole day with her girlfriend before Maura left on Wednesday. Going to work left Roe with mixed feelings. She wanted to stay and be with Maura, because the blonde still didn't seem fine. But she also didn't want to hover, its not as if Maura was a child. The actual working aspect wasn't an issue. Before Maura had planned her trip, Rosario had made it clear that there wasn't anything she could do about her work schedule. And Maura had been understanding saying it was okay enough that they were in the same state and would easily see each other after work. Maura also had her work to do from home anyway.

"Hey you", Roe said to Jane

"Hey", came a groggy reply. Jane slept in whenever she got the chance to.

"Sorry to wake you. Can you come over and keep Maura company. She's still a little...out of it"

"Thought you said she had work to do till you got back home". Jane's heart was beating fast already - excitement and fear.

"I know. Its not like she needs a babysitter or anything, I just know that even if she wants company she won't ask. And since you two get along well I thought you could distract her"

"Is she okay?", Jane was wide awake now.

"I'm not sure. She said she is, but there's something on her mind bothering her pretty badly. That's why I thought she could do with a distraction"

Jane felt like a sinner. But still she took on the offer, if anything, she wanted to just see with her own eyes that Maura was okay.

Roe left the door open for Jane, she didn't want her girlfriend to have to get out of bed to open up for Jane when the brunette arrived.

...

"Maura", Jane called as she stepped into the house.

Maura didn't respond. None of the sentences she could come up with were appropriate. 'I'm in here' sounded suggestive because she was lying in bed in a silk pair of a tank and shorts combo. 'I'm coming' was even worse. A simple 'hi' sounded too cold. While she was mulling over this, Jane knocked on the door.

"Come in", came Maura's small voice.

Jane opened the door as if it had a bomb attached to it and peeked into the semi dark room - the curtains were still closed.

"Are you feeling better?", Jane started with what she deemed the more pressing question.

"No", came an honest reply.

That's all the invitation Jane needed to step into the room and head towards the bed.

"Can you tell me what's going on Maura", Jane pleaded with her,

"I have lost all control over my feelings, and that's a very vulnerable place to be in. I don't like it Jane"

Jane played dumb by not responding, she wanted to hear what was on Maura's mind. She knew what it was, but she needed to hear it in Maura's words.

"What you said to me on Saturday night, it was the most honest thing anyone has ever said to me". They were yet to make eye contact. Maura was curled up with the blanket to her neck looking the opposite side of Jane.

"And then it made you sick", Jane said. Her tone was so flat and neutral, Maura couldn't tell if she was upset or joking.

"In a way, yes"

"Why?"

"Because I want to do something about what you said to me, but I can't"

"What's your reason?"

"I'm still trying to figure that out"

"I'm sorry I came here", Jane hated to impede on Maura's thought process.

"I'm sorry about many things, but that's not one of them. I get the feeling that somehow we would still have seen each other today"

"Can I get you anything? Coffee or something?"

The conversation was getting too real for Jane, she needed to withdraw a little.

"Thank you Jane, but I don't want anything right now"

"What", Jane couldn't make out the muffled words Maura had just said. "Can you look at me?" Jane said when Maura tried to speak again.

"No"

Jane was taken aback by this, "what?"

"You know what happens when in look at you Jane. I'm going to want to kiss you, and I don't think there is anything that can stop us here"

"So we are going to spend the day with our backs to each other?", Jane challenged her even though she knew Maura's words couldn't be more accurate. In fact, they'd be lucky if they ended at kissing only.

"Maybe you could just lie here and talk to me", Maura suggested. And so Jane did. She lay in the bed, at a safe distance from Maura, still not looking at each other. And they began to talk. Jane started by asking her why she left Boston and why she wouldn't return. Reluctant at first, Maura eventually shared. She told Jane how she was adopted and then found out about her mob father and money laundering mother. Her biological parents were bad news and Maura had moved from Boston in order to separate herself from such a scandalous life. These were all revelations Rosario had asked for, for a year and had still not been told. But Maura found it not even worth debating whether or not to tell Jane. The brunette in turn told Maura about the passing of her father and how it had taken a toll on her. It was a give and take conversation for them, something they realized they both needed.

The blonde eventually agreed to breakfast and Jane made them french toast and sausages. Not typically Maura's choice of breakfast, but she still ate it with Jane. Rosario had called a couple of times to find out how they were getting on. After both calls, neither of them passed a comment. They just continued to enjoy each others company, unwilling to strain the happy place they had created.

"Tomorrow Rosario and I are spending the day away", Maura said out if nowhere.

Jane didn't answer, she was concentrating on the heart she could feel tighten painfully against her.

"And I'm leaving on Wednesday morning", Maura arrived at her point.

"Meaning I'm not gonna see you after today", Jane finished for her. They were now sitting on the plush sofa, snuggled under the blanket enjoying coffee as they shared more and more about each other.

Maura was quiet for a moment, debating what to say.

"I'm not as good with my words as you are Jane", the brunette loved how her name fell off Maura's lips. "I don't know what I can say to you in regards to what's going on between us". She paused to gather herself more. "What I can tell you is that I'll be thinking off you when I'm gone. And that I'll certainly miss you". She took Jane's hand into her own and rubbed her thumb over the detectives knuckles. "I enjoyed the time we spent, and I loved talking to you. I can't say what's happening between us out loud because of how real and scary it will make it. But that doesn't change the fact that something _is_ happening, and I can't stop it", she couldn't look Jane in the eye -wouldn't. The pull would be back again, and she'd do something she would regret. "as a scientist, I never believed in the concept of how ones heart could stop beating and beat faster at the same time. But when I look at you, it happens to me. As impossible as it is, you take my breath away Jane. I dont want you to stay here thinking I took for granted all that was between us, all that IS between us. I don't know how, but...", she didn't know how to finish that off.

How do you say 'goodbye' in such a situation? Or was it 'till we meet?'. Did they agree to get over each other in the presence of distance? Did they exchange numbers and call each other secretly? Was there supposed be a hug or kiss goodbye? Did they agree to meet at the airport for a final goodbye? Did they succumb to the force and just admit their love and do something about it? There was no manual, no handbook, just trial and error - the action of which Maura never indulged in.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I don't own Rizzoli and Isles or Rosario Dawson**

* * *

Joan Crawford once said ''Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell''. There is this notion that people learn to love or grown into love. But no, not for Maura. The doctor _found _herself in love. She didn't learn it, or grow gradually into it. She just woke up one day and she was in love, just like that.

''Are you ready sweetheart?'', Rosario called out to her girlfriend as she made her way to the door.

''Almost. Go on, I'll be right behind you''. This wasn't the woman Maura had fallen in love with. She loved her, yes, but was not _in love _with her. The world may say whatever they wanted to say to her, its not like she didn't know the wrong she was doing. She could try to ignore the feelings. It could be achieved - cutting all communication with Jane and moving on. It would take time, but she might be able to achieve it. And then she could go back to her uninterrupted relationship with Rosario, when everything in her life was a fraction shy of perfect. But was that fair, to her, and to Jane? It obviously wasn't fair to everyone else, namely Rosario, but what about her feelings, and Jane's?

Maura looked at herself in the mirror for the umpteenth time that morning. She was lost in yet another internal debate between her heart, her conscience, and her brain. Each had its own view, and she was having a hard time deciding which to listen to. She hadn't slept again the previous night. How could she? Jane had left right after Maura's speech about not being able to see her again before she left. The detective had walked out with saggy shoulders and downcast eyes. She'd been on the brink of a proper meltdown, and had hurried out before it attacked her in Roe's house.

And left to her own devices, Maura had let her heart, conscience and brain have a little chat. The end result was disconcerting. Maura was in an emotional affair. Often referred to as 'affairs of the heart', Maura had only ever read about these in books. Being someone who had never had close relationships, she couldn't understand how a person could be invested in another so greatly at an emotional level. Wasn't the point meant for it to be physical. And if you were physical with someone, didn't that already mean you were emotional with them? Sexual affairs she could understand, but never the emotional ones. It appeared greedy to her - wanting more emotional connections when you have your partner.

But now it all made sense. It made so much fucking sense she wanted to punch herself in the face. Meeting Jane showed her that what she'd had in the past wasn't true irreversible love. It was love, yes, but not _that _'I would do ANYTHING for you' kind of love. But now she had that sort of love, and she realized how much sex was an unimportant aspect of it. Granted she'd already had several fantasies about sex with Jane, but she felt so much fulfilled from just a simple conversation with the brunette.

''You know what Maura, we aren't going anywhere until you tell me what the hell is going on''. Maura very nearly jumped out of her skin at Rosario's loud words. The woman had waited in the car, until she had to come back into the house to see what was taking Maura so long. And here she found the blonde, staring blankly at herself in the mirror. _What the fuck!_

Roe threw herself onto the bed and looked sternly at Maura. She had one last day with her girlfriend before she went away, and the woman couldn't even put herself in the moment for more than fifteen minutes without spacing out. And she'd been asking for many times what was wrong, and she kept getting an 'I'll be alright'. Rosario had had it with the evasiveness. She wanted answers now, respect be damned.

''You need to come out with it now Maura, what's going on?''

Maura had read about this online. It said that emotional relationships may appear to be non threatening because of their lack of physicality, but that wasn't the case. They were, apparently, more damaging to an already existing relationship than one-night stands or casual sexual encounters. It said that the level of intimacy – emotional and physical – of the person in the emotional affair would shift heavily from their current partner, leaving their relationship prone to arguments. And so here it was, the beginning of the end. Maura knew it the second she looked at her girlfriend. Whether she told her the truth or not, whether she told her now or later, the end results were going to be disastrous.

The blonde was still in the same position, thinking and rethinking everything. She'd briefly imagined what a conversation such as this would entail. What she'd say, and what Rosario would say back. But in the moment it all seemed surreal. It was either too much information, or just not enough. And what made it worse was the fact that Rosario was patiently waiting for her to say something. She didn't want to lie to her girlfriend any longer. Her and Jane had made no plans whatsoever regarding what would become of them, so she was in a very precarious position.

She'd lose Rosario, and she'd lose Jane too. But what scared Maura the most was the fact that she wasn't even very worried about that – being left alone, that didn't quite matter to her. She was concerned about what would become of Jane and Rosario's friendship. She was worried about how they would cope at work, and what their intertwined family life would become. She'd go back to Maryland and go on with her life, but what about these two very lovely women. They couldn't up and leave their lives in Boston. She'd ruin it for them, and she'd never forgive herself for such an act. But was there a graceful way to go about it? Was there anything that could cause no pain, or at the very least a very small amount of damage?

There was only one person she could have this conversation with. One person who could at least understand and point out the things she was missing. Jane. But how could she possibly get time to talk to Jane about this? Three whole minutes had passed in silence. Rosario wasn't blind, she could tell the woman standing in front of her was thinking – thinking hard.

Maura read once that in an emotional affair, it will take the two people forever to kiss, but once that hurdle is passed the sex comes so easily and so quickly. What was much more horrific for the blonde was learning that not only was she in an emotional affair, but she was caught up in a love triangle. Being in a relationship with Rosario and out of nowhere having these feeling for Jane. In fact, she had gone as far as to look it up. And what she was in was called a 'split-object triangle' to be exact. Where her attention is split between two love objects. Her life was like that of the fictional characters in the romantic movies she liked to watched. It was strange, and she wondered if she'd ever watch those films anymore. They had been _her _fiction, _her _escape. But now nothing about it was unreal. It was like watching Men in Black and realizing that aliens do exist. _Were those aliens in that film? Why the hell am I thinking about this now?, she chastised herself. _

Six minutes had gone by in complete silence. Everything about it was selfish, and Maura needed to fix it. She was running a quick mental list:

She is in love with Jane

She loves Rosario

She was sleeping with Rosario

The most intimate she'd been with Jane was a kiss to the cheek when the brunette got to the wedding, or wait...was it the dance, or maybe even the shared space on the couch when they watched a movie

Jane was in love with her (that wasn't completely black and white in her head)

….she stopped herself, she'd had enough. She breathed in a loud sigh of relief.

''Are you done thinking?'', Rosario asked patiently.

''For now, yes'', came a small reply.

''Do you want to talk about it now?''

Silence.

''I'll take that as a no'', the woman stood from the bed. ''I think its safe to say we aren't driving up to the coast then. Maura'', she gently placed her hands on the shoulders of her teary lover. ''I'm gonna go over to Ralph's for a while. You look like you could do with some time alone. I'll call you when I'm on my way back'', she placed a kiss to Maura's forehead and walked out the bedroom, and out of the house.

* * *

The day surely must have been taunting her. Since her arrival in Boston, the weather had been nothing short of miserable. The last days of November were cold and wet, and yet today was the complete opposite. Maura stepped outside to face the bright sunny day. Unlike her, the residents of Boston were enjoying the day and many people seemed to roam or drive about. It was always hard to tell how long the loveliness of the day would last, so most people always took whatever opportunity they got.

Had it not been for the unfortunate circumstances, the day would have been pleasant for her and Rosario's outing. They would have driven up to the nearby coast and enjoyed the scenery, possibly would have had taken a nice stroll surrounded by Boston beauty. But the circumstances _were _indeed unfortunate. The little trip was speedily cancelled and the two had taken a….break, if you can call it that.

It was still early, eight o'clock to be precise. Maura didn't have Jane's number – why would she have needed it? - and she desperately needed to speak with the brunette. There wasn't anyone she could ask, so her best option was to go to Jane's apartment – she knew where that was, if her memory served her right from the one trip she'd taken there.

...

When the taxi turned into Jane's street, Maura was relieved her memory hadn't failed her, not that it ever did. She paid the cab driver and nervously walked up to the main door. She was sending a silent prayer to whatever god there was that she would find the brunette home. Things were bad enough as it was, it would be lovely if at least one thing worked out for her. She recalled Jane's apartment number with perfect clarity, so she buzzed the appropriate number.

The blonde stood by the entrance longer that she had anticipated. She was weary of buzzing a third time, because in her opinion, a person should have heard her by now. Patience was a virtue the blonde possessed however, because she waited another minute, and then buzzed one final time (at least that's what she told herself).

Sighing in defeat after yet another failed attempt, Maura turned to leave. But just then she heard a breathless Jane through the intercom, ''Who is it?'', she panted.

Maura stopped breathing for a few seconds, but then jerked into action and ran to speak back to Jane. ''Hello Jane, its Maura'', she said. And after a beat, she heard the distinct sound of the door indicating that she had been buzzed-in by a building occupant. Her heeled boots took her into the building quickly as she headed for the elevator to take her to the second floor.

Jane's heart almost beat out of her chest when she heard Maura's voice. Today was her first day back to work after her mini holiday, and she was already late. She was in the shower when she heard the buzzing, but did nothing to attend to it. Because of her time, who ever it was was going to have to wait. It never, even for a millisecond, occurred to her that it might have been Maura. Her guess was one of her family members, or the building manager. But as she stepped out of the shower, she heard another buzz, and that's when she'd run to answer it, wondering what was so important that someone had to bring themselves in person. Wasn't it what phones were invented for?

The brunette hadn't even got the chance to do anything about her appearance by the time she heard Maura knock at the door. She was breathing heavily trying desperately to do something, anything, but her actions were culminating to nothing. ''I'm coming'', she responded to the knock, and then chided herself for the rather crude response (if you had a dirty mind that is). She took a step to the right, and then to the left, and spun around in the same position. All where attempts at trying to do something, but nothing was coming out of it. She eventually made it to the door, and opened up for Maura.

The blonde thought she was in a dream, because surely these were exact images her brain had conjured whilst on the subject of Jane. The brunette stood limply before her with water droplets running down her exposed long arms and legs. Her dark hair was wet and flowed over her shoulders, with more water droplets running from it. The tan skinned body was covered by a small olive green towel that ran from the top of her breasts to 'waaaaaay' up her thigh.

Maura shamelessly gawked at her. Her hazel eyes traveled from Jane's toes right up to the tip of her head, slowly taking it all in. Jane was like a piece of art work on display. The brunette was _perfect _and looked as though she'd been sculpted into being. Maura was rendered speechless. Her mouth opened and closed countless times, unable to come up with the right words to say to Jane. _H__ow is this woman single?, Maura asked herself. Where people blind? Did they NOT see what she could see? And this is just how she LOOKS. When you talk to her, and spend time…_

''Maura'', Jane roused her. ''What are you thinking?'', Jane couldn't help but ask.

''I'm wondering why on earth you don't have people begging to be with you. I'm thinking of how exquisite you are and how its not even just about your looks – its you as a whole, inside AND out'', Maura let the words out unfiltered.

''I did have a few stalkers'', Jane told her.

''Well I can certainly understand why''. Maura still in somewhat of a trance answered.

''Except they didn't want to _love_ me, they wanted to _kill _me''

Maura immediately came back to earth at Jane's words. ''Your sense of humour is rather odd Jane'', she admonished.

''Actually, that wasn't a joke'', Jane told Maura seriously. The blondes eyes widen at seeing how truthful Jane was being and all the emotions over how positively 'hot' Jane was were replaced by unadulterated concern. When Maura shifted her eyes to look at Jane's scared palms, the brunette immediately stepped aside to let Maura into her place and then shut the door behind her.

Maura had noticed those scars the first time she saw Jane. Medical knowledge told her they were not a result of an 'accident', and that whatever happened must have been dreadfully painfully – physically and emotionally. Maura knew it wasn't her place to comment, or even ask. And when they had talked the past days, she had hoped Jane would bring it up. When the detective didn't, she didn't ask either.

But they had come to the crossroads now.

''I'm sorry to bring that up'', Maura told Jane. The blonde had turned around to face the brunette who stood with her back against the door.

''It's okay'', Jane swallowed the thick lump in her throat. Hoyt was as sensitive as topics came.

''Do you…''

''No!'', Jane cut her off immediately. The last thing she wanted was to talk about Hoyt. That was the peak of the most difficult time in her life, and she wouldn't _willingly _choose to put herself back to that time. She had moved on as best as she could, she didn't want to derail herself with fresh perspectives from Maura about the 'before-during-and after' or the ordeal. It was a closed chapter in her life – period.

''Sorry'', Maura shyly dropped her head now.

The detective had long forgotten about work the second Maura said she was at the door. Now they stood in Jane's apartment face to face, Maura fully clothed and Jane not so much.

''I thought you said you and Roe had…a thing today?'', Jane asked curiously. Cognitive thought was finally kicking in.

''We did. But then we cancelled it''. Maura looked everywhere but Jane. As if eyeing the detective would turn her into a block of salt like that bible story she'd read of once upon a time.

''Why?''

''Can we please sit down and talk'', Maura gestured to the sofa as if it were her house.

''I have to go to work Maura'', Jane finally remembered.

''Oh dear, I'm terribly sorry Jane. I hadn't even considered that you were returning to work today. I'm sorry. I'll just leave you to it. Its just-''

''Maura!'', Jane stopped the flustered woman, ''Its okay'', she said softly. ''Can I just put something on?'', she referred to her state of dress.

The blonde eyed Jane up and down one final time before nodding her ascent. When Jane was sure Maura was satisfied with her final once over, she hurried to put something on. It didn't take her much time to throw on sweat pants and a long sleeved tee and a pair of socks. She put her semi-dry hair into a loose ponytail and made her way back to her living area. Her cellphone was in the kitchen and she picked it up to make a quick call.

''Hey Frost'', she rasped into the device. ''Can you cover for me for a bit. Sorry hey, something came up''. An answer came from the other side. ''I'm not sure what time I'll be there yet, but I will call you when I'm on my way''. And then there was another answer. ''Thanks partner. I owe you''. And she hung up.

''You didn't need to call into work Jane'', Maura said, but she couldn't help the butterflies flying all over her stomach. Jane had cancelled work just like that – so they could 'talk'. The whole thing was proving to be harder than she thought.

''I did'', Jane sat on the couch and tucked one leg under the other so she could look at Maura. ''You wanted to talk – so I _had _to call in''

Maura wasn't sure what to say about the seriousness and resolution in Jane's words. She made herself a little comfortable before looking at Jane. Her words abandoned her once again. The woman before her was bra-less, and Maura could clearly make out the pointy nipples of Jane's breasts and there couldn't be anything more distracting than that. Jane just curiously watched her pull herself together, missing completely the fact that her bra-less state was the current cause of Maura's tongue tied-ness.

''Maybe if you could just let me say everything out, without interjecting, it may help me'', she began. ''this is really hard, and there isn't a single thing that has made it easier''

''I can do that, yes'', Jane told her, fully aware of how helpful it was sometimes to just get everything out with no interruption.

''Rosario asked me what was wrong again and I couldn't tell her. She thought it best to cancel the trip so I can get my thoughts straightened out – I couldn't object. She made love to me Jane'', Maura let out a small sob and looked up at Jane, ''and all I could think about was you''. Another sob followed that.

On top of not wanting to ever seen Maura beg her, Jane realized she never wanted to see Maura cry also. She quickly scooted closer to Maura, and took the woman in her arms, tenderly stroking her hair until Maura recovered a little bit. ''I'm so sorry Jane'', she begged the brunette for forgiveness.

''For what Maura? This isn't your fault'', Jane tried to reassure her.

''Maybe if I could just be stronger, if I could control myself. Maybe if I had never come here, never-'', she was going to say 'never met you', but she stopped. She would NEVER take back ever meeting Jane, even if that ruined her life, she'd still never take it back.

''Why did you come here?'', Jane asked softly.

''When Rosario asked me tell her the truth, I wanted to. But then I realized that I had to speak with you first before I said anything. So that's why I'm here''

''What do you want me to say Maura?'', Jane looked desperately back at her. She had moved back to her position and there was now some space between the two.

''Being deceitful is not me. Right now, _you _have my heart. Its you that I want to be with, its you that I think about. And all that is wrong. But that's the unfortunate thing about feelings, its almost impossible to control them. I don't have anyone else Jane'', she pierced brown eyes with her hazel ones. ''There is not a single soul I can talk to. And that's why I came here, so I could talk to you. I don't know what to do''

''My dad always told me that doing the right thing is sometimes really hard''. Maura had learned how important Jane and her fathers relationship was, and to hear her speak of him, Maura knew this was serious. ''And that you always learn that lesson the hard way''. Jane put both her feet to the ground and rested her elbows on her knees. ''I love you Maura'', she let the words out finally. ''It happened suddenly, I_ never_ expected it. I just saw you, and it happened. I could spend the whole day going into exact details of what I love about you, and I'd still have lots more to say. I'm not trying to sound lyrical or smooth in any way'', Jane looked at Maura to make sure the blonde understood her. ''I'm just trying to be honest''

Maura was about to speak but Jane stopped her. ''Some things are best let go'', she said firmly. ''as much as I love you, as much as I want to be with you, its not possible – not here! You already know this, I work with Roe and shes my friend. And our families….we're like one big family. She's like a sister to me in a way. This would be the ultimate betrayal. I wouldn't just hurt her. I would hurt my partners at work, my brothers, her brothers, and my mother. Its all just too much. All that hurt just so I can be happy?'', she asked. ''I love myself Maura, but not that much. I wouldn't risk everyone's happiness like that just for mine. And because I love you, I think its safe to say this will benefit you too. You're happy with Roe, and she's a wonderful person who loves you very much. With a little time, and_ lots_ of distance, this'', she gestured between the two of them, ''will become manageable. I don't want to ruin your happiness Maura, I love you too much for that''

Maura was shaking her head, tears streaming down her face. _No, this can't be happening, she repeated to herself over and over again. _''No Jane'', she said weakly, the words barely audible through the tears.

''Yes!'', came a firm reply.

Maura stood from her position and went to kneel between Jane's spread legs. The brunette was pushing her away, afraid of what 'proximity + raw emotion' could do. ''Maura'', she even tried to stand.

The blonde held her firmly in place by the thighs. It all seemed rather dramatic for both their liking – Maura and Jane were two very practical people. But there were times in life when everything left you and all you had was a body and emotions. ''You can't possibly mean that Jane'', Maura tried to look at Jane but the brunette kept looking away.

''We can never be together Maura. It will just ruin everything for nothing''. Jane's voice was pined as she said those words.

''But I love you Jane. I love you so much'', the blonde sobbed.

''I know. And I love you too. But sometimes love is not enough''. Maura felt all the power drain from her body. Was all of this just ending now, just like that. It had been five days, that she'd really known Jane. Five days that she'd fallen in love with this woman and it was all crashing down like the world trade centre on 9/11.

''There should be something we can do Jane'', Maura tried to reason helplessly. She knew what Jane was saying was true and sensible, she just didn't want to believe it.

''Can you break-up with Roe huh?'', Jane asked. ''Can you tell her that you want to be with me instead. And can you make everyone else understand that, and accept it. Can I go to work and not get the stink eye from my partners? Can my brothers and Roe's still be friends. Can Roe and _I _still be friends? And what, you'll now come over to see me instead over the weekends? And over Christmas you can come over and spend it with us. Roe would have moved on?'', Jane said all this bitterly. She was angry, not at Maura, or even herself. She was mad at the situation – at life.

''No'', Maura told her truthfully.

''Well then, I rest my case''. Jane said with finality. And the gravity of everything finally sunk in. When Maura's eyes met Jane's she cried hard. She cried for the loss that was to come. She cried for not being able to have the power to do anything. She cried because she hated the unfairness of life, and the cruelty of it. ''Maura, sweetie'', Jane said. The doctor was still on her knees in between Jane's legs. Jane pulled her so her head of blonde locks rested on her lower stomach. ''Please don't cry like this'', she begged the weeping woman before her.

Maura tried to say something, but it just came out as hiccups. She was completely falling apart, in side and out. And there was not a single thing she could do about it. She was in the arms of the woman she loved, the woman who would make all her days shine so much brighter, but she couldn't be with her.

And then Jane's phone rang. The brunette sighed deeply, as much as she had preferred interruption with Maura before, now was just not the time. But when it went off the second time, she couldn't ignore it.

And just as she had suspected, it was Frost. They had a murder, and it didn't help that it was actually two people who had been killed – a husband and wife.

''You have to go to work'', Maura sniffed. She was now sitting on the arm of Jane's couch, feeling more helpless than she had ever in her entire life.

''Yes'', Jane's heart was breaking, big chunk, by big chunk. Never in her life had she ever thought someone would love her to the point of completely breaking down.

Maura picked up her purse and started for the door.

''Maura'', Jane caught up with her before she reached her exit. Maura didn't turn to look back at Jane, she just stopped. Seeing that the blonde wasn't going to turn around, Jane moved to put herself between the woman and the door. She held Maura's face with both her hands, so that the woman could look up at her. ''I love you, and nothing is going to change that. Those are my _feelings_, and no one has control over them. But sadly, _actions_ are a different thing altogether. And I can't do this, I can't hurt Rosario this way'', Jane's words were heavy with emotion and a large amount of tears welled up in her eyes.

Her words were true. And Maura could see her pain reflected in Jane's eyes. They looked at each other for the longest time, and Maura knew that this was their good-bye. That there was a good chance she'd never get to see Jane again. That she'd never get to look the person she was madly in love with in the eye again. It was the deepest pain she'd ever known.

And then Jane pulled her into a hug. It was one of those hugs anyone could just melt into. Jane's arms covered her, consumed her, until she was sure she known no greater love. Their bodies fit in a unique way, so perfectly it hurt. And Maura cried out into Jane's shoulder again. Her tears wet the brunette's t-shirt as she sobbed for a love lost. A love they had hardly got the chance to experience. And when Jane pulled away, they rested their foreheads together, breathing in the same air. They weren't going to kiss, it was like an unspoken agreement between them – such an action was going to make an already complicated and hurtful situation worse.

And in that moment they both understood (that is _if _they had questions before) how deep their new found love ran. It wasn't physical, because if it was they would have already kissed and maybe slept together. Its not like there was anything stopping them. No, what they had was the real deal.

''Good bye Maura'', Jane whispered into the very little space between their lips, tasting the tears that ran down her cheeks.

''Good bye Jane''. And with that Maura left her heart with Jane, and walked away with the brunettes. She was the definition of a mess, and in complete disarray as she made her way back to her girlfriends place.

* * *

Maura took no time at all packing her things, and changing her flight for the evening one instead of waiting till the next morning – she had to go. After sorting her things, in tears, she called Rosario.

Roe had been waiting for the call, so she made it from her brothers place fairly quickly. When she entered the house, it was to find her girlfriend dressed up and packed to go.

''Maura, what's going on?'', she gasped. She knew things were bad, but hadn't thought they were _this _bad.

''May you please sit with me'', the blonde said softly. She was already emotionally drained and had very little energy left to spare. But she wasn't just going to leave, Rosario had done nothing wrong and didn't deserve that.

And so Rosario sat down despairingly next to Maura. She had a sudden bad feeling about everything. She watched as Maura uncharacteristically rubbed her hands over her face taking in deep breaths. ''I have to go…now'', she told Rosario. ''I refuse to continue to hurt you, when I know that I can let you be''

''What are you saying?'', Roe asked with wide eyes. She could feel her heart beating erratically inside of her. _Please don't tell me she'd breaking up with me, she continued that mantra. _

''I'm saying that I can no longer be with you'', Maura clarified. She hated to be the one to break-up with Rosario, especially given than _she _was on the wrong. If there was a way she could switch things around, she could. But the only way was to tell Roe the truth, so she could be the one to break things off. Except, that would hurt even more. So it was this way then.

''But Maura, where is this coming from?'', Rosario couldn't understand honestly. Whatever was bothering Maura hadn't been about their relationship, so why where things coming to an end.

''I don't have the words to explain myself, I'm sorry''. It was then that Rosario noticed the torn look of her girlfriend, that she noticed Maura's puffy and red eyes – all indications that the blonde had been crying for a really long time.

''Baby, you can tell me, whatever it is. I just don't see how we can't figure it out together. I mean….have I done something''

''NO!'', Maura said a little too harshly. ''no, it isn't you''

''Of course'', Roe snorted. It was so cliché, she'd never pegged Maura to be clichéd. Except, Maura wasn't using that as a line, it really wasn't anything Rosario had done.

The sad thing was that Maura didn't pick up on that social cue and plowed on. ''It really isn't anything you have done. I cant be in this relationship anymore'', the tears were coming already, as hard as she was trying to stop them so she could have just one less dramatic conversation.

''You don't just break-up with someone for no reason Maura. Don't I at least deserve to know?'', Rosario asked her softly. She could see how distraught Maura was and was failing to understand why.

''You do deserve that''

''Then tell me''

''My heart is not wholly in this relationship anymore. And I can't do that to you'', that's the closest to the truth Maura was ever going to get without going all the way.

''Can't we fix it, reconnect somehow? Is it the distance?''

No, Maura knew. She could easily see herself having a fulfilling long distanced relationship with Jane. As for re-connection – its not like the connection between them was lost – she just had a much more powerful connection with Jane Rizzoli.

''No'', was all she offered.

''So what…you fell out of love with me?''

Maura couldn't answer that one. _Had _she fallen out of love? If what she had with Jane was falling in love, then surely she wasn't even _in love _with Rosario, she just loved her. But Rosario took her lack of response to mean that Maura had indeed fallen out of love with her. She stood up from her position, wondering whether she was supposed to feel hurt or angry, grateful or frustrated. Was it not a better thing that Maura was forthcoming and didn't string her along? Yes, but that didn't change the fact that it hurt, and that it was just coming out of nowhere.

Her phone beeped. ''I love you Roe, and what we had, it meant _a lot _to me. But I have to go now'', she stood up.

''So this is it?'', Roe raised her hands in the air in confusion. ''You're just leaving like this?''

Maura was crying, she really didn't have any words anymore. So she pulled her suitcase and left the house. She couldn't be blamed. There was no right or easy way to break-up with someone. Anything she could have said would still have never been right, and would never have appeased Rosario, or anyone else for that matter. The best she could do was leave, at least that way she knew Rosario was free to find someone else who would love her and give her all her heart, unlike her.

Rosario stood in her living room in awe. She wasn't sure what the hell had just happened. If she wasn't so stunned, she might have run after Maura, so might have said more or asked more. But it all just happened so quickly and she wasn't catching up fast enough. She was still too astonished to even cry.

* * *

**AN: I've been in love with someone I couldn't be with, so I'm basing this off of that. It isn't Maura or Jane's fault that they fell in love, and the circumstances can't be helped.**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Sorry for the delay, and thanks for your lovely reviews.**

* * *

A tornado is as close to an example as could be used to describe what had happened in the lives of Jane, Maura and Rosario. Violent feelings had rotated between and around them from the second Maura and Jane had laid eyes on each other, leaving nothing but disaster in their wake. It had been unforeseen, and had happened very quickly, affecting not only the parties involved, but everyone else in their vicinity.

It had started with the two close friends – Rosario and Jane. After Maura dumped her and walked out of her apartment as if she was trying to beat some sort of record, Rosario had called Jane. She needed someone to talk to, someone to unload her grief on. And who better than a friend. Except, Jane wasn't available to help with that. Jane was pushing her own wheelbarrow of hurt. Rosario called her numerous times and left uncountable voice messages. All went with no response, until the woman had sought comfort from her brothers. All of which had no explanation as why Maura would do such a thing.

Jane had cried after bidding Maura good bye. She wasn't sure where the strength to let Maura walk away had come from, but she let her go and didn't follow. The last bit of energy she had was spent on her boss Cavanaugh. She called him and requested a two week off period. It was evident to her that she was going to need more time than that, but she started of at two weeks anyway. Her hope was that maybe by that time she would at the very least be able to just do her job – forget all other social activities.

Rosario was more confused than anything else to be honest. It had hurt really bad after happening, but as the days went by, the dominant feeling was confusion. Why had Maura broken up with her? The poor woman spent hours upon hours searching her memory for where she could have gone wrong, but she came up blank.

What ultimately led to her complete agitation was Jane. Her friend had almost disappeared. They spoke on the phone very briefly, with Jane always having to 'take care of something' only two minutes into every call. And Jane's sudden leave had also made the medical examiners job much more challenging. She now had to deal with a replacement detective that 'sucked balls', in everyone's opinion. It was all basically just confusing and fucked up – at best.

And then there was Angela and Jane's brothers that badgered Rosario all convinced that the woman knew what was wrong with Jane. They wouldn't believe that she was just as much in the dark as they were. They eventually left her in peace after learning of her break-up with Maura.

What made everyone generally give Jane space was the fact that certain tendencies had been borne from her fathers death. This particular one was one of them. After Frank died, Jane dwelled in solitude for almost a month. And this seemed to happen every so often if something challenging had attacked her. Jane stayed in her apartment and spoke to everyone for no more that two minutes claiming she was alright all the time. It happened after Hoyt, after her break-ups with Casey and Dean, and also after very hard cases. So it wasn't such a big deal that she had taken two weeks off and was alone in her apartment. What bothered everyone was that not a single one of them had any idea what had happened – not even a clue in fact. There was _nothing _to draw from. None of the previous triggers had present themselves, and it was nowhere close to Frank's anniversary.

When Rosario called Maura, the blonde never picked up. After each call, she resorted to sending a text message to Roe. The messages had become almost like templates – always the same basic words : Hello, I hope you are doing well. Take care. The blonde never acknowledged the call that had been missed, or ever attempted to say anything else. It always was the same words, regardless of what the voicemail Rosario left said.

It pained Rosario that their relationship could come to what it had, but she was a smart woman and knew when to take a hint. A week after Maura left was the last time she called the blonde – after days of more than three phone calls a day. She sent the blonde a final voicemail letting her know she wouldn't be bothered again, and that was that. The last thing she wanted was Dr Isles pressing harassment charges, because truth be told, she was starting to feel as if she was harassing her ex girlfriend.

Maura, unlike the two women she left in Boston, hadn't been depressed. She had thrown herself into her work and left no time for dwelling on her heartache. She had zero tolerance for 'what if's' and 'maybe's'. The medical examiner took all the shifts she could, and had only time for sleep when she got home. At work, she had compartmentalization down to an art, there was no question. When Rosario's phone calls and voice messages came, her heart shattered all over again. How she had managed to hurt someone so much was beyond her. It was unintentional, but it was hurt all the same.

Maura dreaded to let her thoughts venture into the 'Jane box' of her brain and heart. That was so sore an experience it left her utterly fatigued and weepy. She had broken down on a few occasions, but always picked herself up again, and rallied on. But on top of all her negative emotions, a new one began to surface. Maura felt worried – for herself. She had a brief understand of the repercussions of events undealt with. She was pushing her Jane issue to the side, instead of dealing with it head on and sorting it out whichever way possible. Whatever was to come of it, she knew, was only going to be worse than what had already happened.

It was a week after leaving Boston that she got the voicemail from Rosario saying she was never going to be contacted again. As tragic as it seemed, perhaps more so to Rosario, for Maura it served as a stepping stone. She wasn't sure how, or why, but it seemed the fact that Rosario had finally let go opened the gates for her to now deal with herself. Subconsciously she had felt terrible, sorting out her inner turmoil while Rosario suffered with hers. It didn't seem fair to the blonde to sort her emotional life when Roe's was still unsettled. So that's why she had put the whole Jane thing aside and just focused on her work. But now that she knew Rosario was somewhat better – not so much, but better nonetheless – she felt she could at least do herself the honors of dealing with her problems.

The only help Maura could get was professional help, she really had no one else. So Maura had made an appointment with a shrink for the very next day. Being the very frank person she was, it took only the first two-hour session for the lady psychologist to fully diagnose Maura. The next day, on her second session, the woman had allowed Maura to share suggestions of how she thought she could move on after Jane. As it turned out, there was _no _moving on from Jane. They had an in-depth session and another the next day, only to both come to the conclusion that Maura and Jane needed to maybe meet and talk it out some more since their previous encounters had been guarded, brief, and stolen. Maura, unlike her shrink, didn't fool herself into thinking there were words that could be exchanged between herself and Jane that could make it possible for them to move on with their lives apart.

* * *

It was two days shy of the two-week off period Jane had taken. Two days left for her to return to work and she only felt worse that she did the day Maura left. Jane was yet again sitting on the stool in front of her piano, fingers hurting from the excessive playing she'd done for days now. It was December, and the snow and done a number on Boston. Jane stood by her window, mug of hot chocolate in hand as she watched life go by outside. The roads looked dirty, the piles of snow and grit and whatever all mixed up on the ground. Everyone outside went about their business with urgency, indicating that they weren't fond of being outside for any longer than was necessary.

Jane wondered what the most powerful thing on earth was. She always felt as if the answer was always right there under her nose, but she could never get to it. For sometime she'd thought it was love, other times death, and other times hate. But she realized it wasn't any one of those things.

Wasn't love a decision a person made, or a feeling that they couldn't control. It was wonderful at best, and hurtful at worst, but it could be found, and lost. It hurt, but people heal, and it can be replaced or forgotten.

And death was a mystery right? People really have no knowledge of what happens to the deceased. Of course they can't be replaced, but death can be accepted. It is a normal process of life with no 'why me?' question – it happens to everyone. It hurts but we move on, because there is really nothing anyone can do about the inevitable.

And then there is hate, which is a very negative emotion. Some people use it as a copying mechanism or its simply just manufactured when someone actually makes you hate them. But hate doesn't have to hinder or ground us, despite the fact that it doesn't really bring any good.

Jane learnt about death when her father died. She learnt all those things no one tells you about it, things people gloss over and things people who are not confronted with it don't even know. The detective knew hate the period Hoyt entered her life. She'd never imagined an emotion that destructive could be so strong. She'd never in her life thought she would ever want to actually purposefully end someone's life. And love was defined to her just recently by Maura Isles. It was all the things left unsaid about love that for Jane became the _meaning _of it.

Jane was mulling over this seriously when her phone rang. She wasn't eager to pick it up, but knew from experience that it was only better to get the quick conversation over with. Because ignoring it meant it would ring again and again, until something worse like her mother showing up happened.

She didn't even look at the caller ID when she picked it up and heard a fearful, _''Jane?''_, on the other side of the line.

And like an epiphany, it dawned on her, what she'd been wondering these past minutes looking into the cold Boston streets. The most powerful thing on earth – to her knowledge – was _a connection. _The pull between herself and Maura was too potent to ignore. The past twelve days had been a total waste of time, not even including the days Maura was actually _in _Boston. Just the sound of her name from Maura's lips was enough to make her want to…._''Jane''_, it wasn't a question anymore. Maura could _feel _Jane on the other end of the line – not breathing.

''How…how are you'', Jane whispered, frantically checking around her apartment as if someone would be eavesdropping.

''Jane I…''. Maura had thought it through before she called, but now the words eluded her. There was one thing that resonated for Maura though. The one sentence she had recalled during her second session of therapy. On that fateful day her and Jane had bid farewell to each other Jane had said, _''we can't be together Maura – NOT HERE''. _And that's what Maura had hung on to, was hanging onto. ''Is this a good time?'', Maura asked her, unnecessarily stalling for time.

''Its okay Maura. How did you uhhh, get my number?''

''I called the Boston Police Department, I hope you don't mind'', Maura said shyly.

''It's okay'', and a painful silence descended upon them, until...''Why…I mean…Roe'', Jane couldn't get the question right. She wanted to ask why Maura had broken up with Roe – stupid as the question was. What she probably wanted to know was what Maura's intentions where. She was also trying to say she's sorry about the turn of events, but nothing was quite coming out right. ''I was thinking of you'', she admitted quietly.

''Me too''. It was scary, how they had the other on their mind _all _the time, and yet in this instance it was just not possible to not reach out. ''I tried Jane'', Maura told her. ''I'm sorry I couldn't stay away''

''Don't apologize, I probably would have called you soon'', she chuckled nervously. Her cup of hot chocolate now sat on the table as she lay on the couch, head resting on the armrest.

''I want to be with you'', Maura confessed. And there wasn't anything in her life that had been any truer than that statement. ''I want to do this''

''How?'', came a defeated response from the brunette. She really couldn't see how they could do it.

''You said we couldn't be together _there''_, Maura said tentatively.

''Maura'', Jane warned. Those thoughts had fleeted through her mind over the past three days especially. But she still wasn't sure how that would work out.

''We can make it work Jane'', Maura said more strongly. The blonde knew one of them had to be the stronger person for their 'not-yet-relationship', and something told her no matter the confidence Jane had, her loyalty wouldn't allow her to make a move. She'd die in pain than hurt Rosario any more than she already had. ''I can't say it will be easy, but if we both commit to it we can do this''

''Maura'', Jane tried to stop her again. She was starting to see where the conversation was going and it was scaring her how a small flicker of hope was already making itself known.

''I will go anywhere for you Jane, anywhere'', Maura said surely. ''We can move to whatever state you want, or even a different country if that would be better. If that's too much you could come here Jane. You could get a job and we could be together. If all of that isn't to your liking, I _will_ come to Boston''

''You said you never wanted to move back to Boston because of your biological parents'', Jane stated. She'd say anything to get herself back to solid ground.

''Some things are more important than that. For you I _would _move back to Boston''

Jane sighed loudly. Moving to Boston was completely out of the question. She wouldn't know how to face everyone. ''Boston is out of the question'', she heard herself say. _Am I__ really considering this? She asked herself. _

''Okay'', Maura said patiently. ''So what-''

''Why did you break-up with Rosario?''

''Because I'm in love with you'', Maura said simply.

''You broke her heart''

''I know. And it will be a really long time until I can forgive myself for that. It was the best choice I had given the options''. Jane understood what Maura was talking about, she didn't even know why she was asking.

''Have you thought all of this through Maura?'', Jane wondered.

''I have thought about some aspects, yes. But certainly not everything''

''What have you thought about so far?'', Jane asked in an all of a sudden amused voice.

''I've thought that not being with you is torturous'', Maura said with amusement of her own. ''And I decided that you and I should talk and come to a conclusion about how we can be together. I can't'', Maura paused, afraid of uttering her next words but having to say them either way. ''I can't ask you to leave your family and friends, and your job and your life there in Boston. It's too much to ask, and I'm sure it's something you wouldn't do…'', she was going to finish off with 'for me' but the words were too painful for her to say.

Jane heard those last two words anyway. ''I love you Maura. What makes you think I wouldn't do that for you?''

''It's too much''

''Am I not supposed to be the one to say when something is too much for me?''

''Yes'', Maura nervously chuckled. The tone of the conversation had turned from reserved and depressing at the beginning, to charming and heartfelt.

''What about Rosario?'', and like that the unspoken words where let out like air from a balloon.

''That's up to you Jane. If you feel we should tell her I wouldn't object. I don't know what happens in situations like these Jane. I have absolutely nothing to draw from which makes it the more difficult''

''I haven't been able to face her'', Jane confided. ''I don't think I have ever felt so bad in my life''

''Haven't you been working together?''

''I took two weeks off from the day you left''. Maura was surprised to hear this, she had wondered what the brunette's copying mechanisms were. And now that she knew Jane had actually taken time off work, she was sure she wasn't the only one taking it so badly''

''I started seeing a therapist three days ago'', the blonde blurted.

Silence enveloped them once again, each taking in what the other had just shared about how they handled their separation.

''I hadn't put much thought into moving'', Jane said slowly. ''I don't know how I can manage away from my family. And I don't know what I can do about my job''

The mere fact that Jane was even considering this made Maura start to tear up. She'd imagined that Jane would need considerable coaxing to start to even begin to deliberate this. She didn't even want to be that selfish anyway, she'd done enough wrong as it was. But Just as she was about to speak, Jane's voice penetrated her thoughts, ''Hold on Maura, there's someone at the door''. The blonde could hear the irritation in Jane's voice as she shuffled about taking herself to see who had intruded their conversation.

From her end, Maura heard a very deep _''fuck'', _before Jane audibly breathed in and hurriedly spoke to her, ''I'll call you back, I gotta go''. Before Maura could even say anything, the phone went dead.

* * *

Rosario Dawson stood over the threshold looking disappointed. As a detective, Jane didn't even have to ask, or guess. She knew Rosario knew, just from the look on her face. Her only question was _how?_ So she stood there quietly, before stepping aside to let, who she hoped was still her friend, in.

Roe walked in with her hands in her pockets, and turned to face Jane, leaning her back on the kitchen counter. ''Did you sleep with her?'', came a blunt question from a very purposeful Roe.

''No'', Jane rasped, unwilling to even play stupid for a second.

It had taken time for Rosario to put the pieces together. She was smart yes, but the idea of her straight friend doing anything stupid with her gay girlfriend hadn't even occurred to her. But after much wondering, and deliberating, it began to come to her. It was the day after calling Maura and telling her that would be the last of her calling. She had sat in her bed that night and cried, wondering once again, where she had gone wrong. And with a much clearer mind, she had started to trace all the events from the day Maura got to Boston, and somehow it all started to make sense.

Maura and Jane had seemed strange from the time she made it downstairs on Thanksgiving when the two had met for the first time. She had brushed it off as nerves from both parties at the time. And then Rosario remembered Thanksgiving dinner, the two were just...weird. It wasn't that both of them together were acting funny, no. It was that both of them as _individuals _were acting out of character. She knew Jane, and she knew Maura, so she could tell when something was off.

And that is when Maura's character began to be stand-offish. When they went for to the theatre that night, Rosario remembered how Maura had put an extra effort to make Jane comfortable, and how Jane had hardly looked at her 'date'. Maura and Jane had spent that afternoon together by the way. And Saturday they had gone to the wedding together. And Jane had left abruptly. Obviously something had happened, because she remembered how dejected Maura had looked.

That's when the 'sickness' began. Leaving them to abandon Sunday dinner because Maura wasn't up to it, and wouldn't say what the problem was. On Monday she had left the two together again, and Maura only looked worse when she got back. The icing on the cake was Tuesday. Her girlfriend was totally out of it, and as a result, had dumped her out of nowhere.

Rosario felt like an idiot. She had missed all of the signs. Was she just so happy that her girlfriend was in town? Was she too occupied with work, and the holiday? She didn't understand, and quite frankly felt like an ass. It didn't help that she hadn't even pieced the puzzle right after Maura left. Jane had just closed herself off and remained in solitude. She didn't comfort her the way a normal friend would after you lose a loved one. She had only offered a few words of comfort and got off the line. And Maura had not once _spoken _with her. Yes, the signs were all there, she was just fucking blind and in love – turned blind and hurt.

But after two days of realization and putting herself in order, she was ready to confront her friend. So here she was, standing in Jane's apartment demanding answers.

''This started the moment you saw her right?'', Rosario asked a question she already had an answer for, wanting to hear it from the brunettes lips.

''Yes'', Jane was going to go with nothing but the truth – Rosario deserved nothing less.

''Why?''

''I don't know'', Jane said honestly, standing a little further from her friend.

''Thought you weren't into women'', Roe said bitterly, the first emotion Jane could identify after the disappointment from when Roe walked in.

''Roe, if you just let me-''

''No! Let _me _do the speaking here''

Jane nodded, feeling ashamed by what she'd done to her friend.

''Do you love her?''

Painfully, Jane answered ''Yes''

''And her?''

This was the hard part. The whole mutual feelings thing. It would have been so much better if she just loved Maura and Maura didn't feel the same. Then again, they wouldn't have been in this situation. Jane didn't want to speak for Maura, didn't want to have to say those words to Roe, even if she knew the answer.

''I asked Jane, does she love you too?''

''Roe-'', Jane tried to stop her.

''Just answer the damn question Jane'', Roe shouted.

''Yes'', Jane choked on her whisper. She couldn't look her friend in the face.

''So you were talking about all this behind my back. How could you?''

''It wasn't-''

''Don't tell me that it wasn't like that. The time when I entrusted you with her, what were you….making out and laughing at me?''

''We never-'', Jane stepped towards her friend.

''Don't you fucking say that. You are my _friend J_ane – like a sister to me. Of all the women to try your homosexuality on, you picked _her''_

Jane didn't know how to stop her friend, she was fuming now.

''She dumped me Jane'', her voice cracked. ''Was that because of you? Did you two plan this?''

''We never-''

''Oh 'we' now'', Roe let out a bitter laugh. ''You guys are a 'we' now. I was concerned about her being with my brothers, or with Tommy, but never _you''_, she pointed her finger at the still detective. ''I would have expected this from one of the boys, but you Jane''

''We didn't-''

''Again with the 'we'. Can you just stop that please'', she actually pleaded. ''I loved that woman, _I love her. _And you knew it. Why would you hurt me this way Jane? What have I ever done so wrong to you that you felt the need to crush me like this?''

Jane wanted to speak, but was afraid of being interrupted again.

''I trusted _you _Jane'', Rosario began to openly cry. ''And you and my girlfriend went behind my back'', she covered the sobs with her hand, hating that her friend couldn't even comfort her at such a time.

''So what….you guys are in a relationship now?''

''No'', Jane rasped.

''So what are you doing?'', Roe looked at her sternly. She was furious, but she still cared for Maura. She didn't want the blonde to be toyed with if Jane was just experimenting with her sexuality.

Jane was about to say 'we' but caught herself really fast, ''Me and Maura aren't doing anything''

''So she left me, but she isn't _with _you?''

''Yes''

Rosario shook her head at the absurdity of the situation. Truth is, she seriously didn't get it – what Jane and Maura were up to exactly.

''Will you please give me _two _minutes to explain myself?'', Jane pleaded. ''Please''

Rosario didn't want, but ultimately she acquiesced. It was answers that she had come for after all. So Jane began to explain what had transpired between herself and Maura. Granted there were details she left out, but she got the majority of it. Rosario's facial expressions had varied immensely. She'd been surprised, hurt, angry, intrigued, confused, downright pissed and curious. She couldn't say it really made sense to her in all honesty, but the part of her that always trusted Jane still did, even though she didn't want to.

''Have you talked to her since she left?'', Rosario asked curiously.

_Shit shit shit, Jane cursed. _It seemed like things were finally looking up between them – just a little. Jane prayed to the Lord that when she answered 'yes' Rosario wouldn't asked her 'when?'. Because that was going to surely cause a hell of a lot more anger. Lucky for her, Rosario didn't wish to know the exact timing of the call, or the details of the conversation.

''I'm going to go now'', Roe finally announced.

''I'm so sorry'', Jane said again. Roe knew Jane, she could see it. She was angry that she'd lost her girlfriend to her friend, but she was glad that the two had at least respected her. That was probably all someone could ask for from a fallen relationship right?

''I know'', she said as she walked to the door, then turned to Jane before stepping out, ''If you guys decide to be together, go ahead. Just please don't do it in my face'', and she was out.

* * *

**AN: So next chapter will be an epilogue and that's it. Will try to get that out by Tuesday at the latest. Thanks a lot guys.**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: This is a slightly disappointing end (in term of being rushed), but it's all I could come up with in the little time I had. Thanks to everyone who enjoyed this and supported me through out. And I'm sorry again to those that were following ''Someone like you''. Till we meet again…(when I have another story and lots of time). You guys are amazing!**

**Lets just assume Lindsey Harper's song was done by Jane huh. Just for this ****STORY. ****Thanks**

* * *

Jane turned around on the same spot until she felt dizzy. The brunette was trying, and failing, to take everything in at the same time. This was her house, _their _house. She could hardly believe it. It would have to be a few more weeks until it all sank in. It would have to be much longer until _everything _that transpired in the previous six months, leading to this moment, finally took root within her.

Today was her first morning in their new house – her and Maura. It had taken a million plus compromises to finally reach that point. Doctor Isles had been – obviously – used to extravagant houses, posh furniture, and luxurious cars. Not that she flaunted it, it was just what she _had. _But Detective Rizzoli was the complete opposite, and part of their 'living together' arrangement was that they meet half way (sensibly so).

So together, they had purchased a moderately sized three-bedroomed home in an average neighbourhood in Maryland. Jane had had all the belongings she held dear shipped to Maryland where Maura and herself had arranged everything to suit both their likes. In no way was it easy. Jane wanted her sports stuff everywhere, while Maura insisted on her African tribal masks being hung on the wall. But because what mattered most to them was that they were together, and not what their rooms looked like, the two ended up finding things like a yoga room and mini gym sharing the same four walls.

It was summer now, beautiful and warm in the lovely state. Jane made a quick breakfast, just like Maura liked it, and set everything out on their deck. The blonde loved the morning fresh air, while Jane just enjoyed watching Maura smile. Jane promised herself that today would be the first of many breakfasts in their home. She promised herself that she would always be there to prepare oats, and fruit for Maura in the morning. She swore to herself that she'd never love again. Maura had her heart, and that was final. When she looked back to how far they had come, in merely seven months of knowing each other, she couldn't help but want to cry and laugh at the same time.

* * *

Rosario had taken the news relatively well at first, but had gradually become livid over the whole situation. On the second Sunday dinner after her confrontation with Jane (just before Christmas), she had requested that the brunette attend the dinner. And because Jane was in no position to say no to the friend she had betrayed, she went. Only to find out that Roe's attempt at making her pay was to make Jane announce what she had done to her family and friends.

Jane hadn't really done _done _anything if you were to look at the situation objectively...but still. Rosario knew that no manner of shouting or revenge would bring Maura back to her. Nothing she did or said was going to make Jane and Maura fall out of love – it was unfortunate like that. But she knew Jane valued her respect, her honor, and her dignity. And making Jane humiliate herself personally was the worst thing that could ever happen to the detective.

And so Roe had told the family, including Frost and Korsak that Jane had something she needed to say. The brunette was obviously not expecting this and had endured a minor artificial stroke upon realizing what was actually happening. Either way, the truth was going to come out that night, so Jane decided to just spill the beans – she owed it to Rosario. Painfully, Jane explained the events that had taken place since Maura arrived in Boston, and the details that led to her ultimate break-up with Rosario. Everyone was gobsmacked. No one had for a second imaged that Jane would have something to do with the collapse of Rosario's relationship, but as it turned out, she had everything to do with it.

Jane's heart shattered as she saw the look of disappointment in her mothers eyes. Her heart exploded into a billion particles when Frankie had told her he didn't look up to her anymore. He said to her – and Jane remembered these words precisely – _''family looks out for each other. Family doesn't betray one another. Rosario is like a sister to us, and you had to take away the person she loved'', _his rage had only increased after those words, _''do I have to be afraid of bringing my girlfriend over to family events now? How am I, or anyone else here for that matter, supposed __to trust you to not do that again after this?''. _Frankie had walked away, not waiting for a reply from his sister.

Angela was not at all pleased with her daughters actions, but she understood to an extent. She wouldn't say this to anyone, because they might look at it the wrong way, but she had an idea of why Jane had done what she did. She knew her daughter. And things like loyalty and love came naturally to her. That is why she had not been in a serious relationship before. No matter how much Angela pushed, she knew deep down Casey and Dean were not for Jane. And to now see Jane risk all of what had happened for Maura, Angela was sure Jane had found true love. The circumstances were not ideal, granted, but it _was_ what it was. The elder Rizzoli knew without doubt that Jane was smart, meaning she would have figured that eventually all of this was going to come out. If this girl wasn't worth all the discord in her Janie's life, then Jane would have put a stop to everything the minute it began. But Maura was worth it, and Angela knew it. She didn't want to support it, because Rosario was like a daughter to her too. But there was no way of stopping it either.

* * *

''Morning Sunshine'', Jane greeted Maura when she walked onto the deck looking like one of God's angels. The blonde had a white short summer dress, and she wore flip flops on her feet. It was amazing how this woman could get herself so together that early in the morning. Jane was still in her pyjama shorts and a camisole.

''Morning'', Maura placed a kiss to Jane's waiting lips.

They both sat down and enjoyed their breakfast. Maura, ever organized, went through the weekend itinerary she had planned. Since finalizing Jane's move, they hadn't had any time to just relax and be. Having this weekend off, meant the two could at least do something eventful – in an exciting way.

* * *

After Jane's partial abandonment from her family, she had finally called Maura. It must have been close to a week since the blonde had last called her - the day Rosario had shown up at Jane's apartment. Jane was busy trying to sort things out with her life (family, work, etc.) without having to throw Maura into the mix. She didn't want to call the blonde before she was sure of what exactly was going on, and she didn't want to worry Maura with details of everything that was happening in Boston.

But when she finally got around to calling Maura, she learned that the doctor had been emotionally crippled since their last talk. In her attempt to spare Maura the burden, she had actually increased it. The woman shared how she thought Jane wanted nothing to do with her – getting a little hysterically while at it. But when she finally calmed down, Jane began to explain all that had transpired. And just like Jane had assumed, Maura took it badly, blaming herself entirely for the situation.

But after that call, they began conversing everyday, leading to twice a day, and ultimately all the time (text messages, emails, and all). Jane spent her first Christmas alone that year. For Maura it was nothing unusual. But since they only had each other for company, they skyped almost the whole day, getting to know more and more about each other. That night Jane had fallen asleep in tears in an inebriated state. She missed her family and friends so dearly, and she felt so alone. She tried to decipher how it was possible that finding the one thing she had searched for since her teen years could cost her everything else. She got no answer, and felt as hollow as could be.

When New Years came along, and Jane had three days off, she went to Maryland for the first time. Both her and Maura were reluctant about this, but sooner or later they were going to have to cross that step right? And after having the worst holiday of her life only a week ago, Jane had her best holiday. The three days she spent with Maura were the best since forever ago for her. They shut off all their insecurities and guilt, and just enjoyed each others company. They made love for the first time – it wasn't possible not to after sharing their first kiss.

...

It was Valentines Day night that Maura showed up at Jane's door step. She knew Jane was home alone and wanted to surprise her – it worked. They shared their first Valentine's together, made love all night and talked and talked. And so the next day Jane had found the courage to ask Maura to be her girlfriend – officially. Till that moment they had been skirting around the issue of titles, both unsure whether it was too soon or unwelcome. But when Jane asked, Maura didn't even have to think about it, it only felt natural to make things official.

About six weeks later, the topic of at least living together was now like a blanket constantly covering them. When Maura was with Rosario, she hadn't felt completely consumed by the need to be together almost constantly. In fact, they were both quite content with the arrangement they had to some extent. But with Jane it was a whole different ball game. Not only did Maura want to be in the same state as Jane, she wanted them to be under the same roof – forever and ever. It sounded silly, even to her. But that's just what she felt. And her and Jane had got to a stage, albeit too quickly, where they always shared what was on their mind. And when Maura mentioned this, it came as a surprise that Jane was also wishing for this. Maura had been so unsure.

''I'm move there'', Jane had said.

''But…your family, and work'', Maura tried to reason.

Jane's voice had cracked as she said her next words. It was an unspoken agreement that they never mentioned Rosario, not even fleetingly. ''Roe asked not to flaunt this in her face, I hardly spend time with my family anymore Maur. And I can get work there'', Jane had successfully answered all of Maura's questions.

''I'm sorry'', the apology had came out for the first time. Maura never said it during the course of their time together, but Jane knew Maura carried more guilt than she did. Maura was sorry for having been the one that pulled Jane away from her family. _She _had hurt Rosario, broken her and Jane's friendship, and driven Jane's friends and family away. Jane saw it in her eyes every time, how sorry Maura was. She had told the blonde not to say it every time the words and reached her lips. Jane kept trying to reassure Maura that it wasn't entirely _her _fault. That it was the both of them, and that they would live through everything _together. _

So just like that, Jane's moving arrangements began. The brunettes plan had been to apply for a transfer into the Maryland police force, but was saddened to hear that they were not in need of a detective at the moment. Looking closely at Jane's CV, the Lieutenant in Maryland had agreed to make Jane a floating detective at first, until a permanent position arose. It was an insult to her skills, but she had no choice.

That was of course until Maura spoke with an attorney she had crossed paths with a few times. She asked him if they were any jobs to suit Jane's skill set, and as it so happened there was. The defense attorney was in need of a Private Investigator for his affluent corporation. Upon reading Jane's CV and meeting the brunette in person, he was more that convinced that she was the woman for the job.

Jane couldn't have said no even if she wanted to. She was getting paid almost three times more her previous salary, and she still got to do what she loved. Some aspects of the job where going to cover things she didn't know in detail, mainly law, so the brunette was subjected to six months of Law training before carrying out a case on her own. Either way, she loved it. It was going to give her plenty of time with Maura, and she was going to do something she loved but in a less life threatening environment. If her she was still as close to her mother as she was before, she knew the elder woman would have been so proud of her.

Resigning was more of a relief to her. Working at the BPD was no longer fun. Her relationships with her partners had become tentative, and Frankie avoided her whenever he could. Both her and Rosario stayed out of each others way, and everything just got plain weird. But when she announced she was leaving, it didn't make anyone happy. They hated what she did, but they didn't hate _her. _

It must have been the huge step she took in leaving her job and moving to a different state that smoothed out the relations around her. In the days before her departure, her friends and family began to speak with her more and more. Angela obviously wept and begged that her daughter not leave, but it was too late. Rosario came to understand the full extent of Jane and Maura's love, if they were _buying _a house together and Jane was completely changing her life. It was that alone, that lead to Rosario forgiving Jane and Maura. She wasn't ready to tell them yet, but deep down it was decided – they were forgiven.

The last chapter of Jane's life in Boston was finally closed down the first week of June when she completely moved to Maryland. The trips done to move were done alone – where Jane and Maura had gone house hunting and all. Maura hadn't seen anyone from Boston since that Thanksgiving visit. Angela had wanted to escort her daughter, but Jane refused. What they were doing was too fast, but for some reason Maura meeting everyone else seemed too soon. Jane had promised her family that they could come to visit after she had settled in well, and they said they would. The agreed date was July the fourth apparently. They would just have to see how that worked out in the next coming weeks.

* * *

''Come here'', Jane called Maura after they had dinner on Sunday night.

Maura was in the kitchen clearing up the plates and all the other mess from the moving and from their weekend. Tomorrow was going to be her day back to work, and Jane's first first day altogether. ''I'm coming, let me just put the plates in the dishwasher.

''Okay''

When Maura entered the living room, it was to see Jane sitting by her piano. The whole time they had been together she had never asked Jane to play. She so desperately wished the brunette would play, but she knew it was a sensitive topic and she didn't want to push things.

''I want to play something for you'', Jane said without looking up at Maura. The doctor couldn't believe her ears. Not only was Jane playing, but she was playing _for _her. She hadn't the vocabulary to respond, so she swallowed hard and walked towards Jane.

The brunette quickly stood up and pulled a chair for Maura to sit on a little further to her side, before sitting herself back on her small piano bench.

''That day, after the wedding…'', Jane started. She knew Maura knew _which _day she was referring to. It was seven months ago, but it felt like just two weeks back. ''…I started to compose a song for you''

''Really?'', Maura gasped.

''Yeah. You were just as special to me back then Maura, and I didn't know how else to express myself. There was so much going on and I couldn't understand half of it'', Jane rambled.

And after a minute of silently composing herself, she began to play the cords.

It was heaven to Maura's ears. She had never doubted Jane was good, but to actually hear it and see her play – the words to describe it weren't there. And then Jane began to sing in her deep throaty voice –

'' _In the space between what's wrong and right,  
You will find me waiting for you.  
All your fortresses go down in the night.  
To the dawn I'll see you through._

_'Cause I know, that you know,_  
_You're all over me now._  
_And it's clear, it will show,_  
_Your curtains will close._  
_But if your heart is cold, my sheets are warm._  
_I will shelter you through the storm._  
_I will shelter you all through the storm._

_The answers aren't so easy to find,_  
_The questions will have to do._  
_'Cause I've lost myself deep in your life,_  
_My only fix is you….._

Maura had learnt one thing – among others – since meeting Jane. And that was 'tears of joy'. Never in her life had she cried that brand of tears before. But during the course of her relationship with Jane (since her guilt about Rosario began to slowly wear off), the only tears she knew were those of Joy. From Jane asking her out, to Jane moving to Maryland, to them buying a house together, and all the things in between.

Maura padded her eyes with the small tissue in her hand as Jane came to the last cords of the song. It was all _for _her. ''Th-that was beautiful'', she said, voice thick with emotion.

Jane wasn't sure if it was the song itself, or the gesture. She was going to have to inquire another time, when Maura wasn't too caught up in the moment.

''I'm glad you liked''

''I loved it'', Maura stood from her chair, threw herself onto Jane's lap and engulfed the woman into a strong hug. ''and I love you''

''Love you too'', Jane got out through the vice grip Maura had on her.

The blonde eventually let go, wiped her tears and looked at Jane seriously. ''This _is _the place between wrong and right. Where we are right now. I know it didn't come to be, the right way, the safe way, the less hurtful way. But regardless, it came to be. I grew up hearing people say love is messy. I could never understand why something that was meant to be right, something that was meant to be beautiful and good could be messy. But I understand now. And I learnt the best way – through experience. Or maybe not _the best _in this case'', she amended. ''But I know now, and I understand. And I love you Jane, more than I have ever loved anyone in my life''

''I know'', Jane said as Maura wiped the tear running down the brunettes tan chick.

''It may seem too soon, this step that we have taken. But I have no doubt we are headed in the right direction. I will work for this relationship Jane, and I will fight for you. I will do everything I can to keep us happy, and to be the best friend, and partner that I can be to you''

Jane nodded, and Maura pulled her into a strong kiss of conviction, solidifying her words with actions.

And after yet another night of passionate love making, Maura and Jane would be faced with the first day of their new lives. Together, they were beginning a new chapter in their lives. It was a new page, where they were now a 'we', and not separate individuals. They were going to learn to be partners, and deal with all the good and difficult times that came with that.

They had forgiven themselves for what they had done, and had moved on from it. The people in Boston were clearly doing the same. With time, Jane and Maura were sure they would all be able to come together as a family and love one another like they did before.

Together, they had found that fine line. That very tiny almost imperceptible line between what was right and what was wrong. And that's where they were surviving together – heavily leaning on right. In the end, they knew some people would never forgive what they did, but it didn't matter so much now. Life happens, it doesn't come with a manual and list of do's and don'ts. No one on earth was God, and therefore had no right to continuously judge them for loving each other. God had created love, and they had found it – period.

* * *

**AN: If in the future I get time, I will write a long one-shot sequel to how these two got on with their new life together. Thanks again for the time you took to read this you guys…**


End file.
